Hollywood Babble-On 109

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater on Saturday, December 22, 2012."
Runtime: 1:33:26
Recorded Sat, 22nd Dec. 2012
Released Mon, 24th Dec. 2012

0:00 SModCo ads.
0:57 A Very Babble-On Christmas intro by Kyle Hebert, feat. Jingle Bells.

1:50 Kevin often mistaken for Santa.
2:30 Kevin threw his "drink," into the toilet.
2:55 Ralph gives Kevin a Christmas gift. Kevin relays the tale of receiving this gift as a young boy. Kevin would like to cry.
7:30 Shout-outs: Twitter dude says Kevin uses the same 5 jokes over and over on HBO.
8:00 Alejandra and Jonathan from Berkley, CA welcomed by the Fries Girl; offered McRib.
9:16 Frank, sister Sam and friend Juanita from Milwaukee, WI, return to L.A. for Christmas.
10:00 My friend Juanita a bit hit on TeleMundo. Sí, se puede! Kevin has used 3 of his allotted 6 jokes.
10:45 Troy Barton steals one of Kevin's allotted jokes. Old-timey Ralph on Forever. Ticket bought by friend Ari. Drunk Party Girl reinstated. Troy Barton grammatical faux pas. 
13:40 Tom and parents from Stockholm, Sweden at The Lovitz. Ralph busts out his Swedish again and ponders the meaning, "Fucking jerk-off." Tom's mom hit on. Charlton Heston and Bill Cosby on the pro's and con's of moving to The City of Angels. Kevin comments on Ralph's impression of  Bill Cosby.
16:30 Damien Fitzgerald emails in for his friends Chloe and Tina, from Croydon, UK. "Croydon Facelift," discussed. Batman and Bane wish a happy Christmas. Ralph handed suspect beverage.
18:40 Quote: "What a lovely, lovely singing voice."
19:00 Email bag: (momentary technical difficulties), Rich in St. Louis, MO. split with his girlfriend, Jenny. Option to get back together, but return postponed. Al Pacino Mall Santa.
21:45 Quote: "Fuck you, 'File,' man!"
22:00 Adam West sings How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
23:00 Billy Reynolds sends in Creepy Plate Time. Rapey Clown and Rapey Ralph. ("Just the tip!")
24:50 Creepy Clown Time: A. Valdivia asks for Keanu Reeves Creepy Clown.
26:00 Brenda McNeil from St. Paul asks for Peace On Earth (Little Drummer Boy).
30:00 Quote: "That was fun ... alright! Let's talk about dead people!"
30:15 Tinseltown Stiffs: Lee DormanIn The Garden of Eden, by I. Ron Butterfly. Sex-tricks discussed. Manhunter advocated. Kevin found Brian Cox's version of Hannibal Lecter.
34:10 Shit That Should Not Be: Bill Murray in Scrooged.
37:00 Exquisite Acting: Arnold is visited by the devil in A Very Special Christmas.
38:40 Quote: "Shit-tacular!"
40:45 Kev-In: Scott Hamm sends in Kev-In Holidays: It's A Wonderful Life, A Charlie Smith ChristmasYukon Kev-nelius.
42:45 HBO Headlines: Demi Moore gets a divorce from Ashton Kutcher.
44:10 Ralph grilled on Demi Moore's "crotch-forest." Kevin amazed how this man knows this information. Ralph plugs Hollywood Babble-Eve, and the Chelsea Award.
46:45 Lindsay Lohan concerned that she MAY go to prison, and the spurious letter. Asks friends for character witnesses. Won't kiss Charlie Sheen, causes shut-down of Scary Movie 5 by clogging the toilet in her dressing room.
48:45 Quote: "Hahaha! I'm straight!"
51:10 Filipinos threatening to ban Justin Bieber from the Philipines for mocking Manny PacquioCHA pissed that he gave his hamster away. "Hamster rescue = toilet."
55:40 Bronson Pelletier Too drunk to fly.
57:25 Kate Moss photobombed.
59:20 Kevin mentions Comic Book Men. Olivia fired for previous work on SuicideGirls.com.
1:00:50 Ted Nugent's gun shows will not be renewed.  U moderate, bro?
1:03:30 Worst Movies of 2012. Ralph ecstatic at #1!
1:07:00 Movies That Will Suck: Universal announces a Kojak reboot, starring Vin Diesel. Telly SavalasVing Rhames. Ralph irate.
1:10:40 Next Meat-Loaf tour will be the last. AFL live. Dick Clarke comparison.
1:13:00 Apology to Rebecca Black et al, due to Thamys. Party @ Ur House. Short Circuit references.
1:15:00 Geek News: Mattel will release 1966 Batman Merch, in 2013. Ralph ecstatic.
1:16:15 Quote: "How fuckin' dare you, sir."
1:16:25 Hugh Jackman returning for X-Men: Days of Future Past.
1:17:00 Joss Whedon on an Avengers Q&A.
1:20:00 President Geek: SpidermanSuperman. "I'm Electro."
1:21:00 **first appearance** Ralph's Obama impression.
1:22:00 Kieran wants Spider-Man for Christmas. Sean Ward Video.
1:23:00 Random Acts of Christmas: Iron Man video, and Cameron's reaction. Ralph and Kevin crying. Ralph on Tony Stark's apartment.
1:26:50 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 108

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater, 12/01/2012...."
Runtime: 1:42:22
Recorded Sat, 15th Dec. 2012
Released Mon, 17th Dec. 2012

0:00 SModCo ads.
7:26 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

8:20 Ralph and Kevin address the recent tragedy in Newtown, CT. HBO listener Chris Kelly sends in an email.
10:05 Shout-outs: Burke tries to get Tori and Tyler laid, via Christian Bale. 
11:45 Amber from Newcastle, Australia sends in Ralph's favorite email, ever. Struggles with an anal sex drought. Australian men questioned. Lucas, Ethan and Dan told to go fuck themselves by Sean Connery. Mom present. Bond-puns.
16:25 Chris and Crystal enjoy a night out before trying for kids. Bowie photo. DJ James puts them under the  spotlight.
16:40 Quote: "First sentence done, nothing about anal ... boring!"
19:55 Email bag: Ralph plugs @HBOHelper
20:50 Quote: "This is another guy not getting anal."
21:20 Mark Jones sends in Rapey Clown.
21:50 Quote: "It's time to make a baby ..."
22:00 Jesse from Northfield, Minnesota asks for Ed Wynn's Baby's Got Back.
22:55 Mike in Vermont played Anne Heche's Butthole for his wife. Dan Louisell plugged.
24:00 Ralph Garman: The Moses of Anal.
23:30 Quote: "Chocolate Tunnel of Love."
24:30 Hayley Hetfield sends in The Gay Ghostbusters. Kevin chides Ralph for not chiming in with Travolta.
25:40 Seth McPizza sends in Kevin's "It's not gay if ..." list.
27:20 Quote: "Put the blowhole in the gravestone."
27:50 Gooper referenced. Kevin saw Looper, finally. Gooper hypothesized.
31:00 Creepy Clown Time: Chris Short asks for the Elmo Creepy Clown. The Rapey Clown discussed again.
33:40 Tinseltown Stiffs: Ravi Shankarরবি শংকর- রাগঃ রসিয়া. (The Afterlife pondered, and discussed a little. Ralph is agnostic, and Kevin's idea of  Heaven is Gooper). Kevin is told he can't smoke on-stage.
38:25 Hollywood Helpers: Charlie Sheen donates to Lindsay Lohan and a child cancer patient. Ralph in NYC tomorrow to promote Season 3 of The Joe Schmo Show. Past season recaps. Ralph rocks his British accent, and hates a hawk. Joe Schmo clip. Ralph will see Glengarry Glen Ross featuring Al Pacino.
44:15 Hollywood Helper: Shannen Doherty. Mewes digs Charmed. Ralph describes his experiences on Charmed. Ralph not a fan of Rose McGowan. Dispatcher mocked as the tape is played. DJ James with a well-placed shotgun.
50:00 Exquisite Acting: Kylie Mason from Amarillo, TX sends in Liz and Dick.
51:40 Shit That Should Not Be: Goldfinger. Daniel Bryant saluted.
53:20 Quote: "I don'''t have a licence to count."
53:45 Kev-In: The SuperHero Edition. WolverineIron ManBat-Bong.
55:20 HBO Headlines: New Years Eve show plugged, and the 2013 Chelsea Award.
56:20 Lindsay Lohan no-shows in court. Finally snagged the singer of The Wanted. Kevin confused by the longevity of the process. Bank accounts seized by the IRS. Begging for cash from friends. Storage locker in $16,000 arrears. Scores Strip Club offers to pay the bill for a Lohan web-chat. Future discussed.
1:02:00 Carly Rae Jepsom nude photos hacked. Ralph took some polaroids in the past. Call Me Maybe.
1:04:30 Quote: "I don't give a fuck, I wanna see her naked!"
1:05:45 Tadolf Switler stalker arrested at her property. Kevin fight's loneliness.
1:07:50 Justin Bieber murder plot. "Paisley tie," "Ken doll." DJ James shows a picture of the plot.
1:10:00 Grease puns. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John I think You Might Like It. Hair discussed; Chia-John.
1:12:12 Anne Hathaway getting out of the limoZoom, zoom, zoom. Ralph breaks down the uses of the vagina.
1:14:00 Victoria's Secret: I'm dumb as a box of hair. "You skinny cunt! Merry Christmas."
1:16:25 Fourth guy files lawsuit against Elmo.
1:17:40 Ralph annoys everyone with Gangnam Style. Psy had a song called Dear American, an anti-American song, from some time ago. Signs a $30m record deal.
1:19:00 Jackie Chan would to be Baron Von Trappe in The Sound of Music. "Cripsy rice, crispy rice."
1:20:00 Tom Hanks to make his Broadway debut with Peter Scolari.
1:21:00 Movies That Will Suck: Kristin Stewart in a con artist comedy with Ben Affleck. Ralph questions Affleck's talents. Kevin makes some suggestions, Surviving Christmas. Denzel Washington in The Equalizer. Edward Woodward. Top Gun IMAX 3D going into theaters. Ralph says it does not hold up. Blatant homo-eroticism discussed.
1:25:15 Lincoln is much-lauded. Kevin enjoyed. "It's just like Lincoln!" James Taylor was once penciled in to be Lincoln.
1:27:35 Megan Fox to stop being sexy. She's a mom. Megan FoxSorry! Linda Carter discussed.
1:29:30 Geek News: The Lone Ranger trailer released.
1:31:05 Tron 3 announced.
1:31:45 Superman trailer released. Pa Kent a dick. Kunt Olgart's Turkish Superman.
1:36:40 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 107 and 000:Giant Sized Annual

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater, 12/01/2012...."
Runtime: 1:31:26
Recorded Sat, 1st Dec. 2012
Released Mon, 3rd Dec. 2012

Tonights sponsor: The DAVE School.
0:00 SModCo ads.
2:05 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

3:00 Raining tonight in L.A. Kevin stoned.
3:55 Kev Watches Oscar Screeners: Flight. 5 second spoiler. The pro's of booze and coke.
7:30 John Goodman is in every movie this year.
8:55 Ralph comforts Kevin with Precious.
9:45 Ralph plugs The DAVE School, and blasts Florida.
11:10 Quote: "You want a rim-job?"
11:40 Shout-outs: Matt from Melbourne, Australia celebrate's his 40th birthday (In April). Adam West and Bane shout-out.
14:20 Sean and Amanda get their email scrutinized by Kevin. Fries Girl steps in.
16:35 Steve, Lindsay, Crystal and Scott mention Crystal's two broken ankles. Kevin sings the Two's Company theme.
18:30 Brie and Jesús say "Ben Stiller is a dick!" Gay Ghost Life Advice.
19:50 Gina and Chris celebrate Chris' 40th birthday. Yoda birthday wish. 
21:15 Chris and Celsa celebrate Celsa's birthday. Bowie Dance evolves.
24:20 Email bag: Ralph confirms if you order t-shirts this week, they will arrive for Christmas.
25:05 Danielle sends birthday wishes to Hannah in Amsterdam, via David Lynch.
26:45 Wayne Clark would like to see HBO in the UK and won a Hulk toyHulkin'.
28:05 Creepy Clown Time: Lucius, The Stuttering Pimp Creepy Clown.
30:35 Quote: "Louis Armstrong on meth."
31:00 Tinseltown Stiffs: Mickey 'Guitar' BakerLove Is Strange.
33:00 Hollywood Helpers: Adam West surprise visit. "That shit is mine."
36:45 Shit That Should Not Be: Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer.
39:15 Exquisite Acting: Teresa Russell in Wild Things.
41:10 Kev-In: E.T. Werewolf, and Die Hard.
43:00 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan at Club Avenue follows a guy and punches a "well-known psychic" in the face. "Fucking gypsy!" "Liz and Dick sucked!" Gloria Alread hired. Sandwiched.
48:45 Brianna Banks busted for DUI at a McDonalds Drive-Thru. Mugshot. Partial filmography. Ralph irked by Alan Tudyk.
51:50 Lisa Robyn Kelly arrested for assaulting her older husband. Mugshot.
52:50 Elmo accused again. "Use more lube!"
54:15 Kids for Guess use Anna Nicole Smith's daughter as a model.
55:33 Canadians hate Justin Bieber.
56:35 Angus T. Jones says 2.5 Men is filth, and doesn't want to be on the show, anymore. "Devil with a laugh-track." Charlie Sheen weighs in. Jon Cryer statement.
1:00:40 Kim Kardashian offered to ride on the Glendale parade float.
1:03:00 Amanda Bynes loves her turban
1:04:40 Kevin and Ralph plug New Years Babble Eve. Courtney Stodden makes sexual advances to other housemates on some dumb fuckin' show. Aspersions cast on the mother.
1:06:30 Psy's video is the most watched video on youtube. Soju Town. Psy discussed.
1:09:20 Movies That Will Suck: Kellen Lutz in the Tattoo'd man. 
1:10:40 Ralph's Herve Villachaise impression.
1:11:00 Upcoming Blues Brothers TV series.
1:13:15 Geek News: Who's going to be Batman? Not Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
1:14:20 X-Men: Days of Future Past with new and old cast members.
1:15:45 Star Wars news via Jason Flemyng.
1:18:40 OG Batmobile up for auction. Marriage in Batmobile. "She wore white?!" With owner. Ralph's Christmas present (From Kevin).
1:23:00 The Mayor of Batman, Turkey pissed that Warner Brothers use the name. Ralph's Eastern European accent. The Dark Knight Rises passes $1bn in the Box Office.
1:26:20 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.


Episode: Link.
Comments: "They’re not even supposed to be there today! The twisted history of CLERKS III is discussed in detail as SModcast’s Scott Mosier joins Kevin and Ralph for their first-ever home show!"
Runtime: 2:08:31
Recorded Sun, 9th Dec. 2012
Released Mon, 10th Dec. 2012

Hollywood Babble-On 106

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the World Cafe Live in Philadelphia, PA 11/25/2012...."
Runtime: 1:19:22
Recorded Sun, 25th Nov. 2012
Released Mon, 26th Nov. 2012

Dedicated to Ralph's mom.
0:00 SModCo ads.
2:02 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

2:55 Quote: "Welcome home, Ralph!"
3:25 Kevin turns the floor to Ralph, who pays homage to his mother, and thanks those who have supported him over the past two weeks.
4:20 Quote: "She was my first and best audience."
5:45 Kevin recalls Ralph's appearance on FatMan on Batman #9, which was put up as last week's episode, and dedicates this show to Ralph's mom. She was thrilled to hear her raising of Ralph on Fatman on Batman. 
7:30 Kevin thanks the audience.
7:45 Kevin running the soundboard, and he has 2 strains of weed fighting for dominance, and has been playing Simpsons: Tapped Out.
9:35 Hockey discussed.
10:40 Shout-outs: (theme messes up, and played again). Jennifer Barrol, Leah left her husband on his birthday weekend. 
12:50 Anthony, Melanie, Mark and Dana from NJ. Shared hotel anal.
13:55 Jarrod and Hilary reconnected via FaceBook after not seeing each other for 11 years.
15:30 Quote: "Draw a dick on her face!"
15:55 Brian and Alicia Weiss present. Ralph sings Aliciaweiss. Brian donated a kidney to his brother. Ralph sings Analweiss. Kevin questions Brian on going under the knife.
18:30 Anthony et al arrive early. Bill Cosby shout-out.
20:11 Matt from Toms River, NJ sends a long distance dedication to his friend, Jim.
21:00 Jim sends an email about Matt. Chuck Heston owns.
23:10 Creepy Clown Time: Matt and Beth from Harrisburg ask for Creepy Casey Clown Time. OG Clown.
26:00 Email bag: Kenneth Moore from China wants to see HBO with his wife Cathy, when she has her visa. 
27:30 Jeffrey Cole from TN, asks for the Green Lantern oath by Jon Lovitz. Kevin on Bill O'Reilly with Lovitz.
28:55 Dan asks about HBO in Australia 2013. David Bowie Life Advice after 30. Donation to Red Cross. "The Singin' Sword."
31:00 Tinseltown Stiffs: Lucille Bliss.
34:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Deborah Raffin.
34:05 Tinseltown Stiff: Major HarrisLove Won't Let Me Wait. Kevin grills Ralph on his career with that track.
36:20 Tinseltown Stiff: Larry Hagman.
39:00 Hollywood Helpers: Daniel Craig took Skyfall to Afghanistan to show the troops.
40:00 Hollywood Helper: Daniel Logan helps elderly couple in car crash.
41:00 HBO Helpers: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrooke. "Can't be hateful, gotta be grateful."
44:15 Octomom announces the Roctuplets. I'm Ready For Christmas. "SHUT IT OFF!" Octomom in rehab for addiction to Xanax.
46:50 Ralph's Christmas Wish: Emma Stone sex-tape.
49:00 Elmo resigns after Cecil Singleton, and past history.
52:20 Lindsay Lohan's Liz and Dick on LifeTime at this moment. Has new half-sister. Possibly going to jail.
54:25 Kim Kardashian in Miami faced protests, and leaves neighborhood. "Operation Dumbo Drop." Mayor of North Miami gave them keys to the city. Khewbacca sent a suspicious power.
57:00 Sir Roger Moore calls Daniel Craig the best Bond of all. "Lift my kilt and suck!"
58:30 Germany hosts Rocky: The Musical.
1:01:00 Various Paul McCartney puns. Played 2 hours for $1.5m for Wall Street magnate. Paul McCartney Creepy Clown.
1:04:00 Ke$ha asked her fans for teeth and made an outfit. Ghost in her house that kept raping her.
1:06:00 R Kelly returns Trapped in the Closet, going to Broadway.
1:06:45 Quote: "Like Jersey Girl."
1:08:35 **first appearance** Lucius, The Stuttering Pimp.
1:09:15 Geek News: Top 10 Comic Book Thanksgiving Locations. #1: Ma and Pa Kent's farm.
1:13:40 Laurence Kasden brought in to write on upcoming Star Wars movie.
1:15:00 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 105

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Hollywood Babble-On's salute to Ralph's Mom...."
Runtime: 1:29:57
Recorded 31st July. 2012
Released Mon, 19th Nov. 2012

No show tonight, but Ralph's appearance on FatMan on Batman #9 is placed in it's stead, in honor of Ralph's mother, who passed away this week.

Hollywood Babble-On 104

Episode: Link.
Comments: "
Babble-On Comic-Con theater wraps up the Cacophony series with special guests and surprises.
Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater, October 27, 2012."
Runtime: 47:14
Recorded Sat. 27th Oct. 2012
Released Mon, 12th Nov. 2012

0:00 SModCo Ads.

0:50 Intro, and format description. Kevin unimpressed with the page turn tone. Kevin pimps Walt Flanagan. Story recap. Kevin brings the guy dressed as Onomatopoeia Alan onto the stage.
7:25 Onomatapoeia Alan calls for his glasses.
8:00 New Kevin Smith Batman Comic announced this week.
9:10 Kevin begins to read (Page 73).
9:30 Quote: "Bring out the gimp!"

11:25 Quote: "Fuckin' Four-Eyes over here."
13:35 Page turn (Page 74 and 75).
14:22 Page turn (Page 76).
15:30 Next page.
16:24 Page turn (Page 78).
17:44 Next page.
18:34 Page turn (Page 80).
19:22 Next page.
20:02 Page turn (Page 82).
20:35 Next page.
21:23 Page turn (Page 84).
22:00 Jason Mewes as Commissioner Gordon.
23:15 Next page. (Applause for Mewes. Kevin chides him for ad-libbing).
26:10 Page turn (Page 86). Mewes critiqued.
28:25 Next page.
29:06 Page turn (Page 88 and 89).
30:11 Page turn (Page 90).
30:38 Next page.
31:26 Page turn (Page 92).
33:28 Next page.
34:23 Page turn (Page 94). Applause for Ralph.

35:39 Next page.
36:08 Page turn (Page 96).
37:05 Next page.
37:41 Page turn (Page 98). Applause for Ralph. Mewes tries a British accent.
40:04 Next page. Mewes fluffs some lines.
42.36 Page turn (Page 100).

43:21 Next page.
44:26 Page turn (Page 102 and 103).
45:11 Thanks for Mewes, and Four-Eyes Alan Onomatopoeia. Widening Gyre, next. Kevin thanks Ralph.

Hollywood Babble-On 103

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater,November 03, 2012...."
Runtime: 1:35:58
Recorded Sat, 3rd Nov. 2012
Released Mon, 5th Nov. 2012

Tonight's sponsor: The DAVE School.
0:00 SModCo ads.
5:20 Intro by Kyle Hebert.
6:30 Kevin went to a Lakers game last night. Jabba metaphor. Kevin judges the KissCam. Sat next to Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
11:10 Shout-out to the East Coast, suffering after Hurricane Sandy. Kevin discusses damage to Walt Flanagan's and Mike Zapcic's comic book collections. Kevin discussed the 1990's NorEaster. Kevin mentions Troy in New York, who is asking for donations. Ralph notes that Kevin is the worst person to be with in a disaster.
21:10 Ralph plugs tonight's sponsor, the DAVE School.
22:20 Shout-outs: Kate and Matt Serle from New Zealand saw Red State in Vancouver (Red State was on ShowTime this week). Matt closer to dream job. WC Fields quote.
24:55 Aaron and Amy celebrate their sixth anniversary and Amy's birthday. Anne Heche's Butthole played.
27:45 Laura and KC celebrate their 23rd anniversary. 24th fuckiversary. Laura asks what happened when Kevin saw Sean Connery in Scotland.
30:00 Michael Stane from Sweden asks for a shout-out for his friend Björn. Ralph says "Goddamn jerk-off," in Swedish.
32:55 Matt and Michelle from Santa Carita celebrate Michelle's 33rd birthday. Inappropriate SpiderMan.
35:20 Email bag: Matt Hoon asks about the next Comic-Con Theatre (Will be next week). Gay Ghost panel.
37:50 Chris Runt sends in the NJ Shark. Ralph tries to freak Kevin out with shark-chat. DJ James warned against playing copyrighted music.
39:30 James from Melbourne sends in a new HBO animation, Taken, Too.
40:40 Danno found this at a flea market. New Kids on the Block discussed.
41:30 Christina is 18 and asks for Pee-Wee Herman to recite the Green Lantern Oath.
42:45 Creep Clown Time: Yoda Creepy Clown.
44:05 Tinseltown Stiffs: Bill DeesOh, Pretty Woman.
46:25 Tinseltown Stiff: This bit.
46:40 Hollywood Helpers: (Theme forgotten) Ben Stiller doles out pancakes. (Ralph says Stiller is a huge dick, and met him on K-ROQ). Kevin on the pro's of being nice. Alec Baldwin came to visit NYU kids. Ralph says Alec is a dick. Ralph recounts the Words With Friends debacle.
47:25 Quote: "If I was on E, with a glo-stick and I saw you do that, I would vomit up my drugs."
53:45 Shit That Should Not Be: The Man With The Golden GunStill.
56:15 Exquisite Acting: Red Dawn. Kevin mentions Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and a terrifying moment in Red Dawn.
59:40 Quote: "Get my bayonette wet ..."
1:00:00 Kev-In: Pulp FictionOzCrusade.
1:02:05 HBO Headlines: Disney buys LucasFilms Ltd. for $4.05bn; Star Wars, Indiana Jones et al. Kevin is watching Iron Man a lot; would like John Favreau to direct. Ralph does a kick-ass Goofy impression. Kevin instigates a Boba Fett movie.
1:09:20 Lindsay Lohan tweets about the Hurricane. "It's 'Sandy,' you dumb fuck!"
1:10:40 Ralph calls Kim Kardashian a 'stupid cunt.' Second sex-tape for sale. Halloween picsBatGirl.
1:13:25 The Rock as The HulkHarrison Ford and Callista Flockhart.
1:14:45 Amanda Bynes: In NYC getting a spray-on tan walks into the lobby nude. Doubts cast on this story.  Ralph Garman as Tommy Flanagan.
1:17:05 Emma Louise Hodges changes renames herself  Miss Pussy Galore Honey Rider Solitaire Plenty O'Toole May Day Xenia Onatopp Holly Goodhead Tiffany Case Kissy Suzuki Mary Goodnight Jinx Johnson Octopussy Domino Moneypenny. Ralph plays the Skyfall theme, and calls Daniel Craig a Bond girl.
1:19:20 Man scales Tom Cruise's wall. Tom Cruise movie reel. 
1:20:50 Quote: "Murder-Scientologists."
1:21:30 Taylor Swift "puts the 'cunt' in country." Stolen from Matt Nathanson. Ralph plays the clips. (Fuck those clips). Other clips stolen, too (Complicated by Avril Lavigne). 
1:25:45 Geek News: Guillermo Del Toro announces new DeadMan movie. DeadMan influence on Dogma. 
1:27:40 Captain America movie news.
1:28:00 Jamie Foxx big pimpin' as Electro.
1:28:30 KIA Batman packageSide-view.
1:30:30 Quote: "Check your fuckin' drink, alkie."
1:30:50 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 102

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater, October 27, 2012."
Runtime: 1:47:56
Recorded Sat, 27th Oct 2012
Released Mon, 29th Oct. 2012

Tonight's sponsor: The DAVE School.
0:00 SModCo ads.
4:09 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

4:50 Ralph does vampire voice. Kevin confused. Gay Ghost straight out of the gate.
5:45 Ralph apologizes for not coming in costume, as he spends all Saturday prepping the show.
7:30 Several of the audience are in costume; Thor, Onomatopoeia, Black Widow, The Penguin.
9:00 Ralph and Kevin plug tonight's sponsor, The DAVE School. Batman: New Times.
10:10 Shout-outs: Lots of Australians at The Lovitz tonight. Dale from Wallagong has a wife who has taken issue with Kevin's masturbation-chat.
12:40 Quotes: "Crack, crack, crack," "Does your penis have a knuckle?"
13:50 Justin, Polo and Brian are a no-show. Andrew Dice Clay impression. 
14:20 Quotes: "File!" "Shut up!"
15:30 Michael, Danny and Jason scream out, the first time of many. "WoooOOOooo!" Jason recovering from work-injury.
17:20 Quotes: "Sad Hulk Woo," "Woo."
18:20 Quote: "I'll walk with you!"
18:40 Daniel, Cynthia, Danny and Jenny celebrate Daniel's birthday. Daniel recovering from a major illness.
22:45 Kevin smoking OG Chem X.
23:05 Rhys and Ness from Australia celebrate their second anniversary in L.A. Poppers explained to Kevin. "Death Tunnel."
27:00 Saul from London saw The Book Of Mormon. Tourist advice from Creepy Sexy Kevin.
29:20 Amanda Holman wishes her brother, Stupid, a Happy Birthday. "Imaginary Jism."
31:30 Email bag: Enemies of Modern Movies IMDB. List since removed.
35:00 Matt from Australia asks for a birthday shout-out. Kevin and Ralph squabble a bit. Kevin sings Waltzing Matilda. 
37:40 Charlie Kyleberg sends in a tshirthell.com shirt. Kevin recalls NYC's stance on the I <3 NJ shirt from Clerks II.
39:00 Brandon Arnold's new girlfriend is very fond of HBO. Maggie Gyllenhall takes a hit. Adam West proposes for Ashleigh. Kevin criticizes Ralph's prep.
42:50 Anonymous sends in Garman Halloween dolls.
43:20 Slacks86 asks for Harrison Ford singing The Monster Mash.
44:50 Creepy Clown Time: Gay Ghost Clown Vs. Bowie Clown.
46:30 Tinseltown Stiffs: Russell Means.
48:20 Hollywood Helper: Johnny Depp donates $25,000 to the Navajo Nation.
50:25 Shit That Should Not Be: Malc from Scotland sends in Dick Tracy.
53:20 Exquisite Acting: Crispin Glover in Friday 13th Part IV.
55:55 Kev-In: DebateStanley CupJawsZoom.
58:40 HBO Headlines: Justin Bieber fans shaved their headsProofProofProofProofProof. Bieber Senior has nude photo's being shopped about. Justin sued for abortion refund.
1:04:30 Donald Trump will give $5m for Obama to release vital documents. Stephen Colbert offer.
1:06:20 Meatloaf was campaigning for Mitt Romney in Defiance, OH. Serenadin'.
1:07:50 Quote: "His name was Robert Paulsen."
1:08:10 Tila Tequila declares war on The Iluminati. Garmy mobilized.
1:10:30 The Simpson parents are divorcing, because Joe Simpson is gay.
1:12:50 Bobby Brown busted for DUI.
1:13:30 Lindsay Lohan let off for hitting the guy in NYC. Scary Movie 5 clothes 'missing.' Kevin tells of Shannon Doherty's clothes from the set of Mallrats.
1:18:00 Kristin Stewart news. Ralph ejects a K-Stew fan. Kevin went to 2 Twilight Premiere's. Back together with Robert Pattinson. Rules of Engagement.
1:21:45 Taylor Swift single again.
1:23:00 SpikeTV offer $10m for proof of the BigFoot.
1:24:00 Megan Fox suing CelebJihad for this pic
1:25:40 Christina offered $3m for thebigandthebeautiful.com ... Kevin will do it.
1:26:40 Black James Bond discussed; Idris Elba. Ralph saw Skyfall, and liked it.
1:28:20 Movies That Will Suck: Tom Cruise in Looper rip-off, Our Name is Adam. Ralph and Kevin lose their shit, on-stage. The Stranger discussed. Al Pacino as an aging rock-star. Adam Sandler to make The Ridiculous Six. Ralph's Adam Sandler impression.
1:30:20 Quote: "It's not really gay, if it's you."
1:35:50 Geek News: Clark Kent quit The Daily Planet.
1:36:50 Assassin's Creed starring Michael Fassbender coming. Kevin plugs Shame.
1.38:00 The Goon Kickstarter Campaign launched.
1:39:40 Iron Man 3 trailer released. Kevin watched it 18 times. Kevin makes a Pepper Potts prediction. Ralph not a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow.
1:43:25 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 101

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at The El Dorado Hotel and Casino in Reno, NV, 10/6/2012"
Runtime: 1:29:22
Recorded Sat, 20th Oct 2012
Released Sun, 21st Oct. 2012

0:00 SModCo ads.
7:04 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

8:20 Kevin feels bloated, after eating several Boston Creampies. Mentions going to Vegas with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. People are sat close to Ralph and Kevin.
11:40 Ralph disparages Karen Carpenter.
12:20 Shout-outs: (Kevin in charge of audio tonight). Rob Udvari went home, drunk.
15:10 Patrick and Danette Lawson from Wyoming have been together for 14 years. "Leafblower."  
17:20 Matthew and Shauna celebrate 2 years marriage. "Brown to Pound Town." "She grabs a steak-knife."
19:20 Sean Berry will have an Avengers-theme wedding. Degrassi references.
22:45 Justin and Kristin celebrate Slutty Kristin's birthday. "Ultimate Surrender Porn." (REALLY NSFW!) "Hot Karl."
27:00 Email bag: Cathy and Rick Aguirre voted for HBO in the Stitcher Awards.
28:45 Mark from South Wales asks for Tom Jones' What's New Pussycat? by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
29:50 Daniel from Manchester asks for Al Pacino to sing the Ghostbusters theme.
30:45 Creepy Clown Time: Tim Curry Creepy Clown.
32:55 Tinseltown Stiffs: Larry Sloan. Heckler butts in.
34:50 Tinseltown Stiff: Gary Collins.
35:10 Tinseltown Stiff: John Clive.
35:40 Tinseltown Stiff: Sylvia Kristel. Kevin and Ralph discuss her filmography and personal experiences. "21 cock salute."
41:30 Hollywood Helpers: Anne Hathaway donating wedding picture money to charity.
43:15 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan's father tries to stage an intervention. Poltergeist reference: "You moved the headstones!" Officially backing Mitt Romney.
47:00 National Mall in Washington will have the Million Muppet March for PBS.
48:30 Barack Obama went on the Yeo Show, in Florida. Asked about Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey.
50:30 Hulk Hogan sex-tape update: same woman on tape with 3 other men. Hulk sues everybody.
54:15 Fuck tapes Kim Kardashian will not be paid to show at events in Vegas. Khewbacca is the host of the X-Factor. "Thimble full of talent." Kris Jenner wants to be the manager of the Honey Boo Boo family.
56:30 Courtney Stodden forgets she's married. Couples Therapy discussed.
57:50 Amanda Bynes was blind, maybe and had Lasic. Was in court.
59:25 Jenny McCarthy has a new book. Had Jesus posters on her wall. Blew a guy at a truck stop for $20.
1:01:30 Made In Jersey cancelled, as is Animal Practice. Kevin mentions Jen. Dane Cook's new sitcom cancelled before it aired.
1:03:00 Ted became the highest grossing R-Rated comedy, ever.
1:04:00 Uma Thurman had a baby girl.
1:05:10 Kellen Lutz will win an Oscar, one day. Filming Tarzan, just now.
1:06:25 Tom Hanks dropped an F-bomb on Good Morning America.
1:09:00 Movies That Will Suck: Grudge Match. Family Circus. Heathcliffe. Son of Earnest.
1:13:20 Snoop Lion sold his music to Hot Pockets.
1:16:00 GangnamBusters.
1:17:00 Trapped in the Closet continues, on Black Friday.
1:19:15 Geek News: Joe Shuster's family in court.
1:20:00 Darth Vader (Mark Noakes)'s wife catches a punch from their neighbor.
1:22:45 Lost interview footage of The Empire Strikes Back found. Coke nail.
1:25:10 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 100

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at The El Dorado Hotel and Casino in Reno, NV, 10/6/2012"
Runtime: 1:39:39
Recorded Sat, 6th Oct 2012
Released Mon, 8th Oct. 2012

0:00 SModCo ads.
7:40 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

8:30 Quick HBO Recap, and Ralph's scrotum. The Big Balls, Small Cock song.
11:20 Professor Steven Hawking sends an audio message to Ralph.
12:00 The Advantages of Having Your Own Score.
13:40 Ralph disparages Professor Steven Hawking.
14:20 Shout-outs: (Kevin working the audio). Trish and Tim Hackler at The El Dorado. Vicky can't make it. Ralph disparages a heckler. Tim Curry impression.
17:30 Quote: "Gloryholin' on the road."
17:45 Halloween Episode coming up. Costumes announced.
18:00 Dan and Clarissa have been married for 1 day. Prima Noctae discussed. Kevin plays I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd. Adam West Marriage Advice.
20:40 Alison Hughes and Steve from Vallejo, CA. send in the Most Disturbing Email. David Lynch on 14 years of relationships.
24:10 Kevin advocates Sport-fucking.
25:00 Jeff Jones and Kirsten celebrate 11 years marriage and went to see 'Weird' Al Yankovic. Muppets shout-out. 
26:50 James and Meredith from Sacramento. Meredith would like to go to the Bunny Ranch. Local brothels discussed. Yoda-oral.
30:50 The usage of prostitutes discussed, and crabs.
31:40 Creepy Clown Time: Will and Trish ask for Bane Creepy Clown.
34:30 Email Bag: Susan Gemett from Rochester, NY. Dudley Moore Edelweiss.
37:15 The Ralph Garman discussed, and G Spirits.
38:35 Pam's daughter is in the Peace Corps in Moldova. Shout-out to those in the Peace Corps.
40:13 Sarah from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada tells husband Zack that she is pregnant. Bowie steps in.
42:10 Quote: "I hope that you're the father."
42:40 Tinseltown Stiffs: RB GreavesTake A Letter, Maria.
46:20 Hollywoods Helpers: Marty Griffin's wife was an extra on Public Enemies. Billy Crudup brings a pizza.
49:20 HBO Headlines: Justin Bieber pukes on-stage. Kevin likes Baby.
52:00 Arnie pimping his new book. "Should be called True Lies." "I'll be back." "Up and at them!"
54:35 Snoop Lion released Pro-Obama list.
57:45 Amanda Bynes M.I.A.
58:00 Lindsay Lohan assaulted in a hotel room. Herbie, Christine and the Kool Aid guy discussed.
1:01:30 Is Britney Spears a meth-head?
1:03:15 Kim Kardashian still needs to lose weight; selling via twitter.
1:04:45 Hulk Hogan sex-tape released on Gawker. Kevin amazed. Ex-wife arrested for DUI.
1:08:25 Courtney Stodden on Couples Therapy
1:09:45 Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey war.
1:11:15 Breaking Amish discussed. "Churnin' butter and shit." Teeth.
1:14:40 Celebrity Splash announced. Kevin would like to see Celebrity Rectal. Ralph on asian drivers.
1:18:00 Honey Boo Boo receiving death threats.
1:18:45 Glamour Magazine votes Robert Pattinson sexiest man alive.
1:19:50 James Bond drinks Heineken beer in Skyfall. Adele's Bond theme.
1:21:30 Movies That Will Suck: WB announce Yogi Bear 2. Hasbro announces Action Man, Monopoly; The Movie and Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
1:24:40 Miley Cyrus in talks to star in Bonnie and Clyde. Kevin saw her at a premiere. Monsters Inc. joke.
1:26:10 John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John to release a Christmas album.
1:27:50 Geek News: Stan Lee had heart surgery in L.A. 
1:29:54 Mark Wayne Williams (Michigan Batman) in the news, again. Kevin met Michael Keaton at the Dogma premiere.
1:32:20 Taken 2 in the cinema, Liam Neeson promoting everywhere. Andy Cohen.
1:35:00 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 99

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Ralph and Kevin attempt to have a Great One for show #99 before the big 1 double aught next week in Reno, NV. (Recorded at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater on 9/29/2012)"
Runtime: 1:42:15
Recorded Sat, 29th Sept 2012
Released Sun, 30th Sept. 2012

0:00 SModCo ads.
6:58 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

7:45 Carmageddon explained.
8:40 Kevin on Harvey Weinstein on Armageddón.
10:00 Kevin, Ralph and Jason Mewes went to see Batman Live. Kevin explains, and plugs. 
11:30 Quote: "Rusty Litterbox."
13:30 Shout-outs: Kevin cock-fumbles. Lucy and Michael Leavesley from Sheffeild, UK, got engaged, and accent mocked.
18:55 Daniel Tiberillo from Brazil asks for a Kevin impression of Mewes.
19:43 Monkey in the Cage Podcast at The Lovitz. Karen Gonzalez is a no-show. Shout-out thrown away.
20:40 Ghost Podcaster.
20:50 Ralph notes that this is show #99. Remarks on the importance of this number to Kevin.
22:00 Steve freaks out Sue with his shout-out.
23:00 Yesenia celebrates her 24th birthday. Ralph asks an inappropriate question. Kevin tries to use his nous to get to the bottom of why she was in the hospital. Yesenia is unyielding with her information.
28:32 Email bag: Jen from London, Ontario, Canada asks for a happy birthday for her friend Andrew.
30:30 Crappy Role Model has a GPD Car. (Back). 
33:00 Dale from Scotland takes issue with the mistreatment of porn stars. "Fuck-tapes' Kim Kardashian."
34:50 Chris sends in Tricky DickyVideo. Looper discussed.
39:50 Richard in Seattle asks about Smith and Garman sex acts.
42:15 Rick in Australia sends in a Wagon Wheel.
43:00 Creepy Clown Time: Paul in NYC asks for Truman Capote Creepy Clown.
45:20 Tinseltown Stiffs: Johnny LewisTribute.
51:00 Tinseltown Stiff: Michael O'Hare.
51:15 Tinseltown Stiff: Michael RyeAquaman.
53:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Andy WilliamsMoon River.
56:00 Tinseltown Stiff: Herbert LomPink Panther.
57:50 Shit That Should Not Be: FireFly.
59:00 Exquisite Acting: Tarateki Tiz.
1:01:30 Kev-In: (Danger). RaidersLee Harvey OswaldAmanda Bynes.
1:03:20 HBO Headlines: Arnold Schwarzenegger's memoirs to be released.
1:04:50 Quote: "A sock full o' walnuts."
1:06:30 Lindsay Lohan hospitalized.
1:07:25 **first appearance** Dan Louisell's Amanda Bynes theme.
1:08:00 Amanda Bynes no-shows court on the West Coast. Locked herself in a bathroom in a cupcake shop in NYC.
1:10:00 Kim Kardashian told to drop 20lbs, from Kanye West. Second Kanye West sex-tape being shopped about. Kevin talks about his sex playlist.
1:12:50 iPhone 5 out, and Kris Jenner told to get in line.
1:13:30 Erin Moran evicted. Poor Chachi.
1:15:00 Ralph remarks on Sofia Vergara at the Emmy's. 
1:16:20 SkyFall to be released. 50th anniversary of Bond approaching.
1:17:20 Samuel L. Jackson's Wake the fuck up.
1:18:30 Upcoming Elections discussed. Sarah Silverman short. Kevin unimpressed with Romney.
1:20:20 Movies That Will Suck: Mister Ed.
1:22:30 The Coolest - Jaden Smith. The top of Ralph's head is about to blow off.
1:24:20 Pete Townshend's new book admits that Pete had sex with Mick Jagger.
1:26:20 Lady Gaga's ass to be made into a bag.
1:27:40 Carrie Underwood gives a kid his first kiss.
1:30:35 Ke$ha had sex with a ghost.
1:31:30 Geek News: Mark Webb directing Spider-Man 2. 
1:32:50 Jamie Alexander injured on the set of Thor.
1:34:10 Wolverine pictures released.
1:35:40 Daniel Evans from Shropshire sends in Oppa Klingon Style.
1:37:00 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes. Edvard Munch's The Scream.

Hollywood Babble-On 98

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at The Canyon Club in Agoura Hills, CA on 9/22/2012...."
Runtime: 1:30:56
Recorded Sat, 22nd Sept 2012
Released Mon, 24th Sept. 2012

0:00 SModCo ads.
9:51 Intro by Kyle Hebert.

11:10 Quote: "You're not Agouraphobic ...?" (Filed).
11:35 The Dark Knight Returns came out this week. Kevin plugs it like crazy. Cried, and Jen unimpressed.
13:20 Ralph has special fondness for The Canyon Club, and runs of some of the bands he likes, and saw there."
14:25 Shout-outs: Jen bought Ralph a bottle of Jack Daniels Select. Breaks Ben's Babble-On cherry.
15:50 Chris Gold celebrates his birthday with friend, Cash. Harrison Ford and Bane.
17:20 Ron Aitkins and Adrienne come for the Fun and Funny. 
18:30 Tim Carrigan and Jill celebrate one year together. Silent Bob and Caleb shout out.
19:55 Lynn and Jeanine Ottman from Rochester, NY, drove in from Vegas. Big Fan Bonus! (w/ happy ending). 
21:00 Quotes: "Holy pedophiles!" "The Boyfuckers."
21:45 Derek and girlfriend are a no-show.
21:55 Travis and Aliza present. Kevin sideswipes Ralph into anal.
23:45 Email bag: Frederick sends in this article.
26:06 Andy from Michigan had a bad 9/11. Ralph doesn't like Andy's ex.
27:00 Dan and buddy formed a friendship over HBO.
28:20 Nicole from South Bend (?), IN is attracted to Kevin. Advice for Mitch, via Nicole. 
30:20 Justin sells his Batman comics, movie collection and guitar, to help with his upcoming kid. Sean Connery slaps some sense into Justin.
31:30 Creepy Clown Time: Kenny in Las Vegas demands Larry Flint Creepy Clown. Ralph scats.
34:20 Tinseltown Stiffs: John Ingle. General Hospital discussed, as well as his former students.
36:50 Tinseltown Stiff: Steve SabolJohn Facender.
38:55 Hollywood Helpers: Russell Crowe helps out a broad on Noah. Kevin unimpressed.
40:40 Hollywood Helper: Kevin Smith and Richard Branson serve mimosasTweetsPodcast. Kevin on Branson history.
45:45 Quote: "How can he know all dat?!" Game-show: Indiana Jones Blu-Ray boxset up for grabs. Kevin playing for Brandon and Myriam. First question right. Second question wrong (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Life). Third question 1/2 right. Box-set gifted.
52:35 HBO Headlines: 15 Amanda Bynes stories. Car taken away in Burbank, CA. Talks to herself, and inanimate objects. Uncontrollable laughing. Locked in dressing room. Took off shirt in spin class. People Magazine interview.
56:45 Lindsay Lohan knocked off the Hot Mess Throne. For a while. Hit a dude with her SUV. Goodyear offers driving lessons.
57:00 Quote: "Lindsay has like, 9 kills."
58:40 Dina Lohan batshit crazy on Dr. Phil.
59:45 Kim Kardashian lookalike and Kanye West sex-tape being shopped around.
1:01:00 Honey Boo Boo Child under the microscope. More money demanded.
1:04:00 Many celebrities live in the local area. Kardashian Khurch discussed.
1:05:00 Justin Bieber Duct-Tape released. Offered a hockey contract.
1:06:30 Trenton Titans Coaching Contract offered to Kevin Smith. Kevin says he'll do it.
1:08:08 Lady Gaga turns up in London wearing a bhurqa. PETA unimpressed. PETS unimpressed.
1:09:30 Kristen Stewart revealed that Robert Pattinson likes to lick under her armpitsFetischen.
1:11:45 SkyFall about to be released. Best Bond Themes discussed. Ralph saw Live and Let Die on the cinema. Kevin leaves Ralph hanging.
1:14:00 Movies That Will Suck: SONY announce Manimal: The Movie.
1:14:20 Quotes: "Simon McCorkindale," "How dare you know that?!" "How can you know all dat?!" "Yeah, solid ..." 
1:16:45 Clint Eastwood defends his recent political appearances.
1:17:55 Arnold Schwarzenegger's book's trailer released. Kevin says huge Arnold story released this week.
1:21:10 Geek News: William Shatner was oblivious that George Takei was homosexual.
1:22:45 Hutchinson, Kansas wants to be known as Smallville. Kevin agrees. Ralph ... not so much.
1:24:30 Dennis Hof and the Alien Cathouse. Kevin a fan.
1:26:10 Quote: "She's beautiful!"
1:28:00 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.