Hollywood Babble-On 137: August 23, 2013

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Version: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Gotham Comedy Club in NYC on August 23, 2013."
Runtime: 1:36:46
Recorded Fri. 23rd August, 2013
Released Mon, 26th August, 2013

SModCo ads.

1:48 Kyle Hebert intro.
2:40 GARMY! chants.
3:15 Kevin recalls the inspiration that New York has game him, and recalls wanting to write for SNL.
4:50 Kevin on #BatFleck "You know if this was the 90's, I'd be The Penguin!" Ben Affleck announced as Batman. Kevin owns Wayne Manor. "Underbite." "Giant chin." "I've seen Batman's dick!" 
8:20 Kevin plays Batdance by Prince. Kevin mentions the petition against Affleck. Ralph would pick RuPaul or Marley Matlin, to be Batman. Ralph is not pleased with this choice.
10:30 Ralph plays a clip from Jersey Girl, and mocks DareDevil. Kevin on a little Affeck history. "BatCave Entrance." "This dude has been to the bottom ... He's been in a couple of Kevin Smith movies."
13:45 Ben Affleck Batman Statement. Kevin does Bale. "That's smoothe, that's Affleck!"
15:30 Crying Batman. "I'm like ... Liam Neeson, man!"
16:10 Kevin on his current relationship with Affleck, and the future. Kevin says Superman V. Batman will make $2bn. "The J-Loker." Kevin plugs Dogma and Changing Lanes.
21:05 Ralph shows the Butt-Man cover.
22:00 Adam West tweets Ben Affleck.
22:22 Richard Dreyfuss tweets, too .. Guesses at the Batman voice.
23:58 Ben Bat Voice.
24:40 HBO is 3 years old.
25:07 What Strain Is Kevin On? "I don't know!" "I'm trying to get Jason Mewes as The Riddler!"
26:10 Shout-outs: Michelle Ykrewell (?) is alone, and asks for advice for the newborn baby. Kevin plays BatDance. Ralph on lesbianism. "Bad! Bad! Bad!" Kevin on how to treat her.
30:30 John and Jacy from Brooklyn waited 3 years to see HBO. John does Travolta .. Gay Ghost tells Jacy what Babble-On is like.
33:00 HBO: Light on anal, tonight.
33:20 Anthony, Pete, Rachel and force non-drinker Anthony to drink his first beer. The German's on the importance of beer.
35:35 Travis, Melissa and TJ from Oakdale, Long Island, ask Bane for advice. "For you ..!"
38:00 Pat and Steph from Philly are booed, and Rocky explains why Philly is such a great place.
39:10 "YRGREEDYNLAZY! Did you believe Ben Affleck is Batman?!"
39:30 Deborah and Dalek Socks Frank recall their story of how they met, Bowie sings to celebrate their one year anniversary..
42:20 "I've never done that in New York before ..."
42:35 SModCo ads. DAVEschool.com
45:15 Part-time HBOHelper helper John sends in repentant Bruce Willis.
46:08 "Douche Willis!"
46:25 Mike from Liverpool sends in Toilet Flush mom in Breaking Bad.
47:30 JT asks for Al Pacino to sing the Mna Mna song.
48:30 Babble Story Time: Drew Helmich asks for Charlton Heston's performance of Everyone Poops.
49:40 Tinseltown Stiffs: Lee Thompson Young. "He was the ... black kid!" Clip.
51:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Ted Post. Kevin asks about Magnum Force. Hang 'Em High.
54:00 Tinseltown Stiff: Elmore LeonardGet Shorty.
55:40 Shit That Should Not Be: Aaron sends in Kindergarten Ninja.
58:26 Exquisite Acting: The Keep. "Taaake iiit!" "Magneto: The Disco Years!"
1:00:30 Kev-In: True Boner, "You see his dick ..." Smokey and the BanditKev's Big Boy.
1:03:50 HBO Headlines: No-one gives a fuck about sober Lindsay Lohan, less than $1m viewers. "Loaded and airtight!" Kevin on Tyler Perry "Fuck him!" 
1:06:30 Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham denies rumours that she is an escort. Amazon wishlist.
1:08:30 Justin Bieber's Make-A-Wish granted wishes dwarfed by John Cena (400).
1:10:00 Dick Van Dyke rescued from a burning car.
1:11:15 David Cassidy pulled over for drink driving. "What's new, pussycat?"
1:13:00 Cardboard David Hasselhoff causes crime and injury.
1:14:55 Wentworth Miller out, but not in Russia. Fred WTF?! "FILE IT!"
1:17:00 Cameraman suing Kanye West
1:18:30 Mel Gibson pumped. "He's got some sugar tits ..."
1:19:20 Demi Lovato sex pics circulating. (Not yet leaked). "Where is the Edward Snowden in this case?"
1:20:45 Olivia Munn dislocates her shoulder.
1:22:10 TV Shows That Will Suck: Mermaid in Miami. Rambo: The TV series.
1:23:35 Movies That Will Suck: Hulk Hogan biopic. "Affleck as Hogan!" Sean Connery in Sir Billi.
1:26:30 Canadian dentist wants to clone John Lennon from DNA in his tooth. Giant John Lennon.
1:28:30 Madonna's grillWho is who? "Take it doooown!"
1:30:10 Geek News: Thor Disneyland attraction.
1:31:10 Ralph's Junk.
1:32:00 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.


Hollywood Babble-On 136: August 16, 2013

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Version: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live and the Irvine Improv on 8/16/2013.."
Runtime: 1:55:37
Recorded Fri. 16th August, 2013
Released Mon, 19th August, 2013

Kyle Hebert intro.

0:50 Ralph enjoys the love.
1:29 Kevin annoyed with The Daily Mail. Kevin hates the photo that was taken.
6:30 Quote: "You look like Lee Harvey Oswald when he got shot by Jack Ruby ..." "World's Smallest Joke." "If I was walking with a fuckin' horse ..."
8:50 Kevin asks for a gastric bypass for Christmas.
9:20 What Strain Is Kevin On?: OG Kush
10:25 Kevin filming Season 3 of Comic Book Men.
11:04 Shout-outs: Kevin mentions The Magic Garden. "Vietnam War Memorial."
14:00 Casey, Kendra and Sarah celebrate a night out, sans husbands. "This reads like a Penthouse letter ..." "If only he had a larger dog." Ralph's Sexiest of Sexy Voices. "Pint of Chunky Monkey." "Bette Davis Eyes." "Don't move and you won't get hurt." Kevin plays Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes.
19:10 Laurie Abersan (?)'s husband Brad fails job interview, and celebrate previous divorces. Sad Hulk Music, and Casey Kasem life advice.
21:00 Melissa and Tim Allen celebrate their second anniversary. The German's on How To Keep Your Marriage Going Strong. "Hand-jobs und ze pinky in ze butt-hole."
23:30 Jason Ortiz sat right in front of Kevin and Ralph. Girlfriend Erin's birthday.  "Fuckin' Larry King." Sean Connery birthday wishes. A cornucopia of Bond-puns.  "Fucking racquetball injury!" "What a homo!" "I'd like to jizz in your eyes!" 
27:20 John and Heather are their own biggest fans. Bane wishes Heather a happy birthday.
29:20 Michael, Chuck and Seth write in. "WE DIDN'T THINK YOU'D CALL US!!!" "My name is Michael." David Bowie educates Seth on contraception. Kevin danced on Ralph.
32:15 Email bag: Future Jim Staley from Long Island, NY, references upcoming movies and creates WWE Ralph and Kevin. "Where's my little dog?"
34:45 Derek Horsefield asks for Bill Cosby to wish his brother Shane a happy birthday. "It's the neck ..."
36:05 Mike Keeler from Des Moines, Iowa ends in Spider-Man. "Web-shooter." "That kid is really cute ..." 

Editors note: Really, that joke should be filed ... holy shit. Hahaha

37:45 Donnie Diaz from Winnipeg, Manitoba "took the tunnel instead of the bridge." Harrison Ford sings 
Mahna Mahna.
39:15 Melinda Green sends in her daughter singing.
40:28 Babble Story Time: "Oh, The Places You'll Go," by Sylvester Stallone. "Y'GreedyNLazy!"
42:00 Tinseltown Stiffs: Eydie GourméClip.
44:10 Tinseltown Stiff: Allen Lanier. "Retired again, this week." 
45:25 Tinseltown Stiff: Lisa Robin Kelly. "Pick on a husband your own age." Underwear.
47:15 Tinseltown Stiff:Henry Polic IIScarecrow.
47:45 Robin Hood: Men In Tights defended to the hilt. Videos overlapping.
50:00 Hollywood Helper: Kevin talks Tusk, and the Hollywood Helpers theme is used as the ring-tone, and references Robert "Ratface" Holzman. "You have alzhiemers." Kevin plans his future via PodCasts.
54:10 SModCo ads. huluplus.com/babble DAVEschool.com
1:00:45 Hollywood Helper: Justin Bieber grants his 200th wish for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. "He's still a cunt!" He's a dickPanhandler. "He's been visited by 3 ghosts in the night!" "I don't like black people ..."
1:05:20 Shit That Should Not Be: Jeremy sends in the aggresive hand-job in Killer Elite.
1:08:15 Exquisite Acting: Chad sends in Bill Nighy in Underworld 3. "To be with an aaan-i-mal!" Muppet song remix.
1:10:25 Kev-In: The Beaver, Kindergarten Cop image unavailable, at the moment, Heff. "Tittyfuckin'." "I'd be tossin' your salad ..." Ralph has a stroke.
1:14:21 HBO Headlines: Duck Dynasty S4 pulls in 11.8m viewers. "Fucking stop it, America!" "Let's watch that video ... hopefully."
1:17:25 Kevin mentions Bryan Johnson's beard.
1:17:40 Burglar leaves The Lonely Doll on the nightstand of Famke JanssenSpank.
1:20:30 Ralph drunk. Sylvester Stallone adds Mel Gibson and Antonio Banderas to The Expendibles 3.
1:21:45 Justin Bieber's old photos. "Ken doll cock." "Waddled over on her nubs." 
1:24:40 Ralph asks for a Tadolph Switler theme. 5 greatest fears announced: Sea urchins, (Angry Ralph's back!), earwigs, cynics, being arrested and googling herself. "I hope she uses that quote, real soon."
1:28:10 Lindsay Lohan working again. Filming Eastbound and Down. Ben Affleck visited her in rehab. "Argo fuck yourself!" "You think he did her?"
1:30:20 Kim Kardashian Vs. Katie Kouric. Armoured vehicle purchased for kid. Kris Jenner is very upset.
"Hardest working woman in the world."
1:36:00 One Direction Vs. The Who. Baba O'Reilly Vs. Best Song Ever. Best Song Ever sucks major dick. Pete Townsend takes the high road. 
1:39:00 New HBO theme.
1:39:15 Britain's Got Talent kids. "Harry Potter's aunt!"
1:41:10 Geek News: George Lucas had a baby. Ralph needs to pee. Kevin solo on-stage.
1:43:00 Mark Wahlberg would like to be Tony Stark in the next Iron Man movies, after RDJ. "The Perfect Storm - The Wave Movie." 
1:45:00 Marky Mark.
1:46:00 Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark theme! Daniel Curry's leg caught in a machine, back-stage.
1:46:50 Man Of Steel XXX: A Porn Parody now available. "Superman's accountant."
1:48:40 Orlando Bloom to be the next Batman. Christian Bale, too. Bootleg Begins.
1:52:30 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 135: August 9, 2013

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on 8/2/2013."
Runtime: 1:41:27
Recorded Fri. 9th August, 2013
Released Mon, 12th August, 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.

0:34 Kyle Hebert intro.
1:11 Ralph touched a "knee."
2:00 SuperDirector. "Fuck you, man!" "Stop making pretend: Make a podcast!" "Your dreams are stupid!"
3:00 Kevin tells a Jay and Silent Bob story: Quick Stop Opening transition. Kevin abused for his weight in Leonardo, NJ. Filming moving away from LA.
5:10 What Strain Is Kevin On?: SkyWalker OG. "Yoda mustache." "Pie chart."
7:15 Shout-outs: Ralph's assistant, Gabby celebrates her birthday.
8:10 Tom from Pasadena scares Ralph and Kevin, on bachelor party with David. "The other one made Clerks ..." Ed Wynne tries to convince David otherwise. Bane advocates marriage, and fluffs his line. "Fuck you, man!" "DISAPPOINTED!"
11:45 John and Sandy celebrating John's birthday, and ask for birthday advice. Ralph as Kevin, Kevin as Pacino.
13:55 Chris and Kristin Wyngood bring HBO virgins, and Ralph gets chided and screws up his notes.
15:04 Lindsay and David Getz ... Kevin's 50's Damn Yankee's impression. In-fighting. The Germans "Going up The Rhine." Ralph enjoyed Bernie Getz work.
18:25 Brian and Jen from Needles, CA no-show, due to Brian's kidney stone. "Needles and the damage done." "Bat-Pole's burning."
19:40 Shane et al. celebrate the "Twins" 29th birthday. "SIG alert at every on-ramp." Kev on Jen's pregnancy. Bowie birthday. Dirty Ralph.
24:00 Kevin loved the movie, Lovelace.
25:30 Email bag: "AOL?!" Jenny writes in for her Fox-Hole. "The Anal-Helpers." Sean Connery quickie. "Captain Lubricant and Corkscrew Dick."
27:30 Juliet from San Francisco had a break-up. Gay Ghost happy birthday.
28:15 Babble Story Time: Larry Carpenter from Yardley, PA asks for Arnie to read One Fish, Two Fish.
30:00 Tinseltown Stiffs: Karen BlackFive Easy Pieces. Ralph into girls with lazy-eye.
36:00 Tinseltown Stiff: Cosmo AllegrettiMr. Moose
38:24 Tinseltown Stiff: Margaret PellegriniPhoenix Coroner. 2 Munchkins left ...
40:40 Hollywood Helper: Kevin references The Fighting Hellfish. John Stamos visits sick fanPicGive Forward. Kevin prohibits the gym from his life. 
43:50 Mickey Rourke Loki-Poki Stick.
45:30 SModCo ads. DAVEschool.com 
49:12 Shit That Should Not Be: Paul Aston in Sweden sends in 1940's Batman.
52:10 Exquisite Acting: The Langoliers. "That wasn't even in the script ..."
54:30 Kev-In: The Babble-On BrothersBabbleStar Galactica. Smurf Kevin unavailable.
56:24 HBO Headlines: Sylvester Stallone tweets about Bruce Willis. "LEZZYGREEDY!"
1:00:20 Sharknado sequel will be called Sharknado 2: The Second One. Two Sharktopus sequels in the works. "If these two fuckers can be twins ..." "Sharktopus Vs. Terracuda." "Sharktopus Vs. Mermantula."
1:03:30 Tara Reid on Shark After Dark. "You can actually see the brains leaking out of her ears ..."
1:05:45 Simon Cowell to give $10m house to pregnant person.
1:06:45 Justin Bieber screams at a dude in a club, jumps through the sunroof of his SUV; Guy beaten
1:09:30 Pacino with Chicago. "Drunk Uncle Al, the kiddie pal." "Get a load of me!" "Alzheimers Pacino!" "I just made doodie!" 
1:12:40 Lindsay Lohan dedicated to stay sober. Lindsay banged a dude in rehab, allegedly. Oprah films Lindsay. Commercial. "Diana Ross-Hair!" "Tyler Perry Network."
1:15:50 Kim Kardashian: Kanye West wants to buy Graceland. Kevin amazed by Elvis' death details. Poltergeist referenced. Elvis ghost. "BoooooOOOOOooooo!" "Poo!"
1:18:40 Deep Throat chat. "Gag Order." "Get out, all of you!"
1:20:40 Farrah Abraham rejected by everyone in LA. Girls and Corpses magazine.
1:22:20 Sydney Leathers to star in a Vivid Ent. Porn Movie, WeinerGate.
1:23:50 Pee Wee Herman coming back to TV. "I'm 60 now!"
1:25:00 R Kelly's Trapped In The Closet to get further chapters.
1:26:54 Geek News: Peter Capaldi to be the new Doctor Who. World War Z.
1:28:45 Batman/Superman Casting news: Mark Strong Lex Luthor. Everyone for everything.
1:31:10 Erotic Lives of the Superheroes.
1:32:00 Shaun "JugFace" Young besmirched via Blade Runner sequel. "I didn't age her! What The Fuck!"
1:34:10 Doc Johnson releases Super Hung Heroes. The Amazing WebShooterThe Incredible Hunk. "Don't make that bitch angry." The Caped Cock. "It could be for dudes ..."
1:36:45 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 134: August 2nd, 2013

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improve (sic) on August 2, 2013.."
Runtime: 1:40:04
Recorded Fri. 2nd August, 2013
Released Mon, 5th August, 2013

0:00 SModCo ads. huluplus.com/babble

3:22 Kyle Hebert intro.
4:15 - Kevin describes his birthday; watches the Avengers with Jen - Jen cackles. "Call me HawkEye!" "Forty three-way!"
8:52 What Strain Is Kevin On?: 1/2oz Yoda OG, Green Fantasy. "Yoda's porn fantasy."
10:00 Shout-outs: "Taint." "Roman face mask." Crystal Babbage sends in artwork.
12:06 Valerie celebrates Jay's birthday with "Brown eye lucky." "Kracken."
13:20 Jasmine celebrates Freddy's birthday. "Wrong fuckin' show!" Kevin on Scooby Doo. "All Freddy's are dicks!" The Germans confirm. "¡Feliz cumpleaños!"
15:50 Lena, Jens and Oba from Sweden on Star Trek. William Shatner shout-out.
17:40 Creepy Clown Time: Matt Rowbottom, Sarah et al. request Bane Creepy Clown to Ralph. "Big, bald male nurse." "Method Actor!" Gift of food and Cards Against Humanity. "Voldemort's Castle." "Just leave them on the way out."
22:25 Email bag: Alyssa and friends visit The Stash on Kevin's birthday. "Flesh Light Training." "Pebble."
24:40 Kanye West Rant: Casey Kasem.
26:10 Colton from Des Moines, Iowa sends in the new Thor poster"Male tit-grabbers."
27:05 Alison Maynard from Melbourne, Australia asks for David Bowie to serenade Kevin. "I'll see you in 10 minutes!"
28:40 Babble Story Time: Alex McKay asks for Sean Connery to read Go The F*ck To Sleep.
30:30 Tinseltown Stiffs: JJ Cale. Ralph plays Eric Clapton's Cocaine and After Midnight. Oh, Alenka.
33:47 Tinseltown Stiff: Michael AnsaraKang.
36:20 Tinseltown Stiff: Eileen BrannanClue. Kevin on Private Benjamin.
38:45 Hollywood Helper: Sam SimonJodi Foster. "Penis and testicles."
41:35 Shit That Should Not Be: JD sends in Rocky 3. Chair.
43:55 Exquisite Acting: Ross Woods sends in Judge Dredd. Previously seen in HBO 73 (Thanks, @Forgeticus!)
45:52 SModCo ads.
49:30 Kev-In: Revenge of the SmithBook of SMormon! Gilgamesh, WTF?!
52:30 HBO Headlines: Justin Bieber on fire; statement released. "#Targets" Giant faceHow dare hePhone. "Dick App." "Ve haff vays of making you pay!"
56:40 Ralph would like to be at Chicago w/Al Pacino at The Greek. Ralph mistakes Pacino for Bieber.
Ralph sings Saturday in the Park.
1:01:15 Lindsay Lohan must do 3 hour-long therapy sessions for 16 months. "Herbie to sponsor." The Canyons to be released. Affleck wants to hire her for Live By Night. Hosted Chelsea Lately.
1:03:45 Chelsea Handler related to Nazi. "Perfect combo."
1:05:00 Ellen DeGeneres to host the Oscars.
1:05:45 Simon Cowell fills a separation"YEAH!!!" Swap Gone Wrong. "What's the moratorium?!" A host of amazing Natalie Wood jokes.
1:09:00 Have You Seen This Billboard?!: Special Needs Albino Smurfs. Doogie takes a hit. Kevin amazed with Ralph's knowledge of Smurfs. "Bullshit!"
1:11:40 Oklahoma My Little Pilot insignia.
1:12:50 KTV-U Kent Parker Wright.
1:14:25 Psy has a drinking problem. Drunk woman chided by Ralph and Kevin.
1:15:45 Porn News: Anthony Weiners sexting to be made into a porn movieGreenpeace, pls! Snap.
1:17:40 Ben and Jerry's sues Ben and Cherry's.
1:18:55 Ke$ha born with a tail.
1:19:00 Donnie Osmond tore his ass.
1:19:55 Movies That Will Suck: Beverly Hills Cop 4. Kevin optimistic. Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in The Family Moon. Ralph's Adam Sandler impression.
1:22:00 Geek News: CW announce The Flash TV series. "Back-door pilot." Kevin pimps the Justice League - The FlashPoint Paradox. *SPOILERS*
1:30:00 Hugh Jackman tweets.
1:31:05 3 Avatar movies on the way.
1:31:25 John Williams to score upcoming Star Wars movies. Theme played. Kevin on past work. Danny Elfman calls.
1:33:15 New Dr. Who to be announced. Jason Mewes leads a chorus of Happy Birthday for Kevin. "This is our Goddamn night!"
1:35:30 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.