Hollywood Babble-On 128

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on May 31, 2013." 
Runtime: 1:54:14 
Recorded Fri. 31st May, 2013 
Released Mon, 3rd June, 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.
2:50 Kyle Hebert intro.
3:20 After Earth discussed. "If danger happens, suck 'em off!"
4:20 Final Hollywood Babble-On for Ralph's mustache (The cum-catcher!).
5:15 Kevin asks Ralph what strain he's on; Ralph references The Comedian of The Watchmen.
7:15 Next week is Kevin and Why, Bry? as Ralph is away, and discuss Bryan Johnson's beard, briefly.
7:55 Shout-outs: DJ James offered a job, and The Lovitz mentioned.
9:05 Kevin smoking SkyWalker OG, and mentions Matt Cohen referencing the origins of "OG." "Sea weed." Aqua Man takes a hit.
11:00 Ralph's Batman Dealer, Fred Bode, gets a shout-out. Batman dolls discussed.
12:15 Zach and Juan ("Woo.") gets a job and moves to L.A. Racial slurs discussed. Schwarzenegger doing his best Mexican impression.
14:55 Jeff Bell and Joe from WI, made The German's movie poster.
17:20 Natalie, Kyle, Tim and Jill want a Pee-Wee Herman shout-out. Natalie hates it.
19:15 Daniel Rhineberger and bros. from Denver drive to L.A. Sexy Kev tried to seduce David Bowie (Extended mix).
23:20 Email bag: Mike Dunne from St. Catherine's, ON, Canada sends in the local dog groomer.
25:40 Jennifer Lopez outfit, and a Gossamer comparison. 
27:05 Eric Sly sends in Poor Sheckie.
28:20 Amanda from Akron, OH liked Stroke Tim Curry .. asks for Sweet Transvestite by the McDonalds Fries Girl.
30:10 Creepy Clown Time: Bill from Modesto, CA asks for Dudley Moore.  
33:15 Tinseltown Stiffs: Clarence Burke Jr. O-H-H Child. Kevin references Over The Edge.
37:10 Hollywood Helpers: Tom Hardy meets Kayleigh Duff. Ralph digs a hole. "Make-A-Wish Bone." "I would wreck her." "I hope Tom got some ..."
41:10 Kevin's Dick Van Dyke Christian Bale. 
42:15 SModCo ads. HuluPlus.com/babble DAVEschool.com
48:45 Shit That Should Not Be: Scooby Doo and Batman & Robin.
51:55 Exquisite Acting: Ralph Garman in Sharktopus. (Ralph mentions Will Wheaton live-tweeting Sharktopus). "That's why you didn't have lines in Red State ..."
56:00 Kev-In (Movies): A Clockwork Orange, Pulp Fiction and Top Gun.
58:30 HBO Headlines: Amanda Bynes says she was sexually harassed by cop, and the Police lied and slapped her vagina. "We're not in Buffalo." Attacks Rihanna on twitter. Trampoline.
1:06:55 Kim Kardashian birthing plans leaked.
1:10:05 Kardashian Family Porn Parody. "They'll find a woman to play Bruce." Kiara Mia and partial filmography. "The Ben Affleck of porn."
1:13:20 Farrah Abraham works her ass off. 
1:15:20 Courtney Stodden nude.
1:16:30 Pop Scrotum Justin Bieber racing his Ferrari and is owned by Keshawn Johnson. Another woman said she had his baby. File!
1:20:20 Jaden Smith more responsible with his money after spending in Cartier. Dating a Kardashian as Iron Man.
1:24:05 Arnie sells a series to ShowTime, called Pump. Comedy Week.
1:25:20 Henry Cavill in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Man of Steel TV spots. Man of Steel discussed.
1:28:00 Expendibles 3 casting news: Jackie Chan, Wesley Snipes, Milla Jovavic and Nicolas Cage. "I'm more of an Expendible protector."
1:29:45 Movies That Will Suck: (Kevin met Dan Lewisell who writes a majority of the theme tunes). Human Centipede 3, starring Eric Roberts. Ralph freaks out Kevin. Kevin met the Human Centipede director, Tom Six. Grumpy Cat via No-Shame Productions. Meme's discussed.
1:35:00 Geek News: Iron Man 3 #5 Top grossing film of all time, and adjusted for inflation.
1:37:00 Mark Hamill smoking problem. "Smokes for Luke."
1:39:10 Adam West and Burt Ward on Futurama.
1:40:25 Superheroes Fighting in L.A. Bluntman and Chronic discussed posing for some of that proverbial phat cash. Dad-Batman. "Captain South-American," Vs. "Canadian Batman." "Magnum Vs. Silent Bob."
1:47:50 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 127

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on May 24, 2013."
Runtime: 1:31:44
Recorded Fri. 24th May, 2013
Released Mon, 27th May 2013

0:00 Lumdberg Glass.
3:04 Kyle Hebert intro.
3:45 Lovitz prod.
4:15 Lovitz at The Improv, complaining about the bathrooms.
5:00 Kevin smoking SkyWalker.
5:20 Kevin gives thanks to Meghan Quinlan, who is leaving Kevin. Kevin explains how to avoid leaving process in the Smith Household. Ralph gives thanks to everyone, Ralph explains his moustache, and that he has been filming A Million Days To Die in the West, in New Mexico.
9:10 Shout-Outs: Kevin lowers the bar. Adam and Matt from Birmingham, UK. Someone steals Kevin's bit. Paul McCartney shout-out for a place to stay.
11:54 David, Greg and Christina with a mad laugh. Celebrating graduation with The Germans. "Pussy ünt chocolate."
14:15 Karen, Kelly and Eric celebrate Mothers Day at the Lovitz. Ralph plugs ProFlowers. Kevin about to cry. Bane shows a mothers love. Huell Howser joins in. "I love seamen."
16:45 Chris and sis at The Improv. Ralph does Bob Hope. Bowie shout-out.
19:05 Email bag: Pepper from Newcastle, OK found a Clerks II bonus disc in the wake of the tornado. Thoughts to OK. Ralph advocates donating to The Red Cross.
20:30 Matthew ponders SMereal.
21:45 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Brad Campbell asks for Charlton Heston. "Soylent Green Lantern's light!"
22:54 Tinseltown Stiffs: Steve Forrest. S.W.A.T.
24:40 Tinseltown Stiff: Alan O'Day. Undercover Angel.
26:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Trevor Bolder. Sideburns.
28:10 Tinseltown Stiff: Ray Manzarek. Light My Fire.
30:15 Hollywood Helpers: (Wrong theme played). Helen Mirren plays The Queen. Kevin asks for forgiveness for Ralph.
34:25 Truck-stop glory hole.
35:00 Shit That Should Not Be: Zachary Hooper sends in Mr. Nanny.
38:10 SModCo ads. huluplus/Babble / Recipes by Ingredients
44:56 Exquisite Acting: Kevin loses control over the drowning dog. Sean Connery First Knight - WHY!
48:55 HBO Headlines: Amanda Bynes housewarming gift. Bong-ing! "Don't you know who I am?!" Mugshot.
54:20 Joe Francis Retarded. Kevin was on a plane with him, and explains the trip.
58:00 Lindsay Lohan is being sued For $5m. Kneepads. Dealer divulges buying habits.
1:01:15 Justin Bieber Milestone award. "Imaimaimaimaimaima artist!"
1:05:00 Bieber's monkey now property of Germany.
1:07:30 Farrah Abraham Backdoor Teen Mom's bikini up for auction.
1:09:45 Celebrity Sick Bay: George Michael Head injury.
1:11:11 Tim Curry had a stroke. Ralph cements his place in Hell.
1:13:00 Jada Pinkett-Smith on Willow's comeback.
1:14:40 Britney Spears has new music for Smurfs II. "FleshLight Smurf." "Sperm Bank Smurf."
1:17:15 Movies That Will Suck: The Toxic Avenger remake with Arnie.
1:19:30 Geek News: Damon Lindelof criticized for making the female in Star Trek strip naked.
1:21:20 Latino Review says Jonathan Rhys Myers will take a big role in the upcoming Star Wars trilogy. Ralph imitates a cholo and Harrison Ford.
1:22:50 Mark Hamill's pants from Star Wars undersold at auction.
1:24:15 Andrew Garfield shoots hoops dressed as Spider-Man with local kids in NY.
1:26:00 Found Action Comics #1 fetches $75000.
1:27:15 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 126

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Long Beach Laugh Factory on May 4, 2013."
Runtime: 2:05:03
Recorded Sat. 4th May, 2013
Released Mon, 6th May 2013

Episode notes courtesy of @Forgeticus

Note: this is the first episode recorded after the falling out with Jon Lovitz and the first public explanation to why they left the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater.

0:00 Kyle Hebert intro.
0:40 Kevin feels the love all over his face, neck and chest.
1:05 Ralph feels it in his eye.
1:15 Happy to be in a REAL comedy club.
1:20 Ralph's does a Jon Lovitz "I'm a douchebag!"
1:30 Kevin wants to tell the Lovitz story quickly.
1:45 Ralph wanted to record a whole show about it.
2:40 This is a fucked up story. Jon Lovitz "That's the ticket! I'm a cocksucker!"
3:10 HBO started at SModcastle.
4:00 Kevin sucked Jon Lovitz's dick on ABC's of SNL podcast.
4:40 Door split for HBO was 90/10. 90% goes to Ralph/Kev.
6:00 Frank Kelly ran things at the Lovitz and was a 50/50 partner with Jon.
6:15 Jon Lovitz didn't know what a podcast was.
6:50 SModcastle closed because they were going to move into the top floor of Lovitz. Blog entry
7:35 Kevin bought the top floor of the Lovitz for $50,000.
8:30 Jon Lovitz hasn't been around his club much, it's more HBO's home.
9:20 The unraveling of a relationship
9:35 The last time the guys got paid was 5 months ago.
10:15 Quote "Hey Kev, you know we haven't been paid for any of the shows in 3 months?" "And I was lighting a joint with a $100 bill." "And then quickly putting that $100 bill out."
11:00 Kevin was going to move SIR to the 3rd floor of the Lovitz.
11:25 Heidi and Frank built a studio on the 2nd floor.
12:25 Ralph writes Jon a nice but stern email.
12:32 Kevin doesn't file a Staind joke.
12:55 Frank Kelley and Jon Lovitz had a falling out. Allegedly, Frank was forced out.
13:15 So now Jon Lovitz is in charge "And I'm not a business man!"
13:30 Every time they'd ask Jon about getting paid he'd blame Frank. "Frank stole your money!" Allegedly.
14:00 Apparently Jon wanted to bring in a new partner.
14:15 And more importantly we said, "It's not out fucking problem. Pay us."
14:45 Jon Lovitz wrote them checks "out of his own money" but it was $3000 short.
Jon said he'd check the math. "Yeah, he checked the math after I sent him all the documents proving the math"
15:45 "Pay me my fucking money!"
16:20 "Things don't smell kosher in Denmark anymore."
16:30 Ralph's Shakespearean accent impression.
17:40 After the money problems, Ralph and Kevin wanted 100% of the door, or $400 more so they could control the account.
17:50 The Lovitz makes $6000 to $7000 on booze when they do their show.
18:20 Jon said he couldn't afford to pay them extra or the club could close.
18:40 "Things don't smell kosher Denmark, we thought."
18:55 Ralph crafted another nice email. They'd like to open an account to automatically do the 90/10 split and deposit it accordingly.
19:40 Jon wrote an email back, and this is where things got weird.
19:50 Jon withdraws the normal 90/10 split for 50/50 split and takes their normal 8pm time slot away.
20:35 Consistently, HBO is the only show that sells out. So to take the time slot and a 40% cut is "a massive slap in the face with a very little dick"
21:20 Jon's new partner said "Well those guys are lucky to do the show here"
21:35 The guys work on an exit strategy at this point.
21:50 Kevin had an idea they can just do the show on the top floor, since he owns it. "while they're doing other shows down on the stage"
22:05 Now the game is let's just fuck with him as much as we can.
22:45 Jon tells Kevin he doesn't own the top floor. He was renting it for storage
22:55 Quote "Yeah, that's the ticket! You were.. err. renting it.. for storage"
23:30 Jon Lovitz just made up all up in his head. That someone would pay $50,000 to rent a place for storage just for the summer.
24:30 Kevin informed Jon he has a contract and a cancelled check that specifically mentions SmodCo Lounge in the memo.
24:35 Jon stopped sending emails, but told Kevin "You're crazy and cruel"
25:00 Kevin loved Jon. Wrote him into his scripts, had more ideas for ABC's of SNL.
26:00 Getting Jon to schedule time was like pulling teeth.
26:20 Lovitz called Obama an asshole. "He's taking my tax money. That Frank stole!" (Allegedly.)
27:00 If your club isn't doing well don't mess with the 1 night of the week that is.
27:30 "Pay me my fucking money!"
28:25 In 2 weeks HBO's new home will Los Angeles Improv on Melrose.
28:45 Jon's partner did say good luck trying to get that 90/10 deal anywhere else. "It did take us an entire day"
29:30 Kevin "The dude treated us like fucking dicks, so we went on our way."
30:00 Kevin still doesn't know what's going on with the 3rd floor, but Ralph wants a nudist colony.
30:45 Quote: "I would like to swing my giant pendulous balls over the railing while Jon's on stage and just play them like bongos.
31:35 Kevin Smith only has public feuds with 80's icons. Prince, Jon Lovitz, Bruce Willis.

33:30 Start of normal show. Kevin's doing the sound board tonight.
33:35 Shout-outs: Allison and Sam celebrating Allison getting her Masters. Ralph does Huell Howser.
35:50 Chris and Robert. Ralph and Kev sing the Fat Albert theme song. Chris is the Chewbacca to Robert's Han. Robert needs Chris to bang a girl with him so Robert can have a threesome with 2 women.
37:15 Kevin is confused. "You got me so far? It's only three people! Fucking follow me!"
37:30 This is a word problem. If Robert's on a train leaving from New York...
37:45 Ralph puts down his mic to drink.
38:55 Could Ed Wynn convince Chris to turn this girl into a pair of fingercuffs?
39:30 Quote "You could put it in her heiney, or in her hoo-haa, or in the talky part."
40:15 Kevin Wants to be Robert. Meanwhile he's fighting in emails with Jon Lovitz.
40:20 Both Kevin and Ralph have shared a woman with another guy. Audience wants the story.
40:35 "We can't tell it because it actually involves Lovitz as well."
40:55 Missile Ovalay (?) and his girlfriend Marrari. "Are you guys Ferengi or Klingon or something?"
41:40 Kev and Ralph both speak Klingon. Kevin: "Ick tock thu cha BABBLE ON!"
42:30 Kevin's creepy sexy voice.
43:10 Dale and Jill from Perth, Australia. Ralph does Australian Arnold Schwarzeneggar.
45:25 No more Lovitz talk, or drunk lady will yell at them again.
46:00 Chris and Lucy from Manchester, England (England). Kevin and Ralph both sing the song from Hair.
46:25 Manchester makes Ralph think of his friend Davy Jones, "The Manchester Cowboy". He used to literally ride monkeys.
49:05 The Germans give wish Chris and Lucy happy anniversary.
50:15 Email bag. Kevin fucks up the start and stopping of theme. Adam West: "And you're lucky to have parents."
50:50 Cop On Films, from Ireland has a new animation for Al Pachino's More Margaritas.
52:30 Robin from the UK wants to know how Ralph met Adam West. A K-ROQ charity CD where Batman spoils Christmas for kids.
56:00 Silas Mortenson sent in a photo of a DVD: Sean Connery vs The Cock. Ralph does Connery impression.
57:40 Lawrence and Vicky want David Bowie to congratulate them, they're getting married today.
1:00:40 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Keith from New Orleans wants Aaron Neville.
1:02:45 Tinseltown Stiffs: Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman. Article.
1:05:30 Tinseltown Stiff: Deanna Durbin, child star Video
1:09:05 Tinseltown Stiff: Chris Kelly from Kriss Kross 
1:11:55 Kevin asks "Do you unzip your fly to take a wizz?" "No, I just piss in my pants, Kevin"
1:12:30 Kevin just pulls his waistband down a little bit. Ralph has mastered the art of guiding his cock through a zipper.
1:14:40 Kriss Kross toured with Michael Jackson. Ralph does a quick impression.
14:35 Tinseltown Stiff: Kev adds one from last week: George Jones
1:15:25 Hollywood Helper: Al Pacino prevents drunk driving, loans couple his limo 
1:18:00 Kev-In: Iron Man, The Flintstones, Kiss. 
1:20:50 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan
1:21:30 Lindsey Lohan why don't you come to your senses? Ralph: "No shit. This this this.. fucking bitch. It's like she's on a bet." She checked herself out of rehab. She's at Betty Ford Center. 
1:24:00 Charlie Sheen wants to give Amanda Bynes a guest spot to help her.
1:25:40 Amanda Bynes tweets topless photos of herself and has a twitter fight with Jenny Mccarthy. 1, 2, 3.
1:27:50 Amanda calls Jenny McCarthy an old lady. Amanda Bynes dances on the treadmill 
1:30:00 Reese Witherspoon being a total cunt to a cop when her husband was arrested for DUI. Arrest video
1:34:00 Teen Mom Farrah Abraham sold her sex tape for $1 million 
1:37:20 Kevin reccommends working in a convience store
1:39:00 Farrah working on her future endeavors: a stripper pole
1:40:35 Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys is writing an autobiography. 
1:41:05 Ralph wants an audiobook. Does his stroke voice impression of Brian Wilson. Audience bemoans. Turns into Bill Murray in Caddyshack.
1:41:30 Rocky the musical coming to US 2014  The Germans are excited. Ralph does Sylvester Stallion impression singing Rocky.
1:43:00 New Annie musical, working title "Tannie," Jamie Fox to play "Benjamin Stacks."
1:44:30 Pop scrotum Justin Beiber tried to skip customs in turkey. Stops concert because he was pelted by toys. 
1:47:10 Jonah Falcon, man with worlds largest penis, records shitty song "It's too big" 
1:50:15 Geek News: Spiderman steals $6000 from 90 year old man. 
1:52:45 The Knight Warrior gives up fighting crime. Chris (from shout-outs) claims to have met him. Ralph thinks he was the one that beat him up and made him retire.
1:54:40 Chris is the Knight Warrior's Joker. Chris is not a great super villain name.
1:55:55 Quote: "If you're a super hero, at least you should have a plan for punching."
1:57:25 It's May the 5th now. The Toledo Mudhens are uses Chewbacca uniforms this weekend.
1:58:25 How did no-one do Yoda Soda before? Star Wars jokes.
1:59:20 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes. Jimmy Stewart describes the length of it. Kev and Ralph do Jimmy Stewart impressions.

Hollywood Babble-On 125: Secret Origins 2

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Another compilation of the "Greatest Hits" from the history of Babble-On!"
Runtime: 2:15:00
Recorded 2011-2013
Released Mon, 15th Apr. 2013

Hello Garmy,

I thought I would use this place to explain a little of the production process of Hollywood Babble-On 125: Secret Origin 2, and why an 'Issue Zero,' is necessary.

In the past couple of months, I have been working on several SModCo projects, with my good friend and SmodCast Internet Radio Chief Jizzmopper, Declan Quinn, the first of them being Tell 'Em Steve-Dave 143: And on the 7th Day, God Listened to TESD, which is a Zero Issue for fellow SModCo Podcast, Tell 'Em Steve-Dave.

To the uninitiated, the Zero Issue may seem like a mere clip show, but it's uses are many, the most prominent thus; Potential new listeners feel that to sit through 150+ hours of pod to catch up to the present episode is a gargantuan task. The Zero Issue let's said person hear select fragments, brings them up to speed, and hopefully gives them the urge to download the back catalogue and enjoy it.

I had a great time putting TESD 143 together with Declan, using the information provided by the TESD Army. So much so, that I wanted to do another, but for Hollywood Babble-On. Instead of asking what clips people would like, I used my notes from this blog, as all the information was still fresh in my brain (I had caught up to the present point, some three months earlier).

Which brings me to today; Secret Origins Part 2 brings us up to speed, and is a strong episode. Hopefully it brings new listeners to HBO who stick around because they like what they have heard.

Thanks for reading, and Babble-On!

Joseph (Chile).

Hollywood Babble-On 124

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Recorded live on April 13, 2013 at The Laugh Factory in Long Beach, CA."
Runtime: 1:47:00
Recorded Sat, 13th Apr. 2013
Released Mon, 15th Apr. 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.

3:23 Kyle Hebert intro.

4:20 Kevin needs a quick reminder where he is.

4:30 Slutty Ralph.

5:20 Ralph mentions his father. First joke of the night filed. Ralph filled with hate.

6:35 Will Smith's Dancing Monkeys.

6:55 Kevin operating the sounds tonight. (Smoking Venus OG).

7:35 Kevin recounts a story about his daughter and the Paramore signing at Hot Topic. The Perfect Transaction.

9:00 Quote: "Can you come and do something ...?"
9:50 Kevin plugs The Jay and Silent Bob Groovy Movie. Jay gets Harley to the front.
11:55 Shout-outs: Tony, Joanna and Luis from Bakersfield, CA. Kevin references Every Which Way But Loose. Ralph does Clyde the Monkey. Kevin does gorilla. Pee Wee Herman welcome.
15:05 Rudy, German et al are at The Laugh Factory. Christian Bale steps in.
16:33 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Karen, Zac and Nolan ask for Gilbert Gottfried. 
18:10 Mark and Ling from Liverpool, UK. Ralph's impression criticized. John Travolta's plane.
20:55 Tomas (Meth dealer) gives the finger to Ralph. Jennifer Jones gets Creepy Sexy Ralph. Tongue colonoscopy. Kevin recounts the tale of kissing his wife, and his cousins eating cereal - Fraggle Rock cast.
24:45 Adam Davies from Australia gets put in the shit, by Ralph. Charlton Heston home advice.
26:10 Frank Dykeman from Grants Pass, San Diego celebrates his 15th anniversary. "Granny ass." The 25 Year-Old Grandma. The Germans pass commentary.
29:50 Suzanne asks for Bowie to sing Happy Birthday for Mike.
32:10 Dude pisses off Kevin on Twitter. Scorcese/Smith comparison.
33:25 Email bag: Ryan from Buffalo-The-Fuck-On liked HBO121. Ralph and Kevin mention @HBOHelper. Tom Brokaw interviews Harrison Ford.
35:45 Creepy Clown Time: Zac asks for Huell Howser Creepy Clown Time. "Your eyes become pinholes!"
37:40 Brian Roctanic (?) asks for It's A Small World. "Nye .."
39:54 Bale Time: Joel Sutton asks for Bill Cosby.
41:30 Tinseltown Stiffs: Richard Brooker.
43:50 Tinseltown Stiff: Annette Funicello. Mickey Mouse Club Memories. Beach Party.
48:30 Tinseltown Stiff: Jonathan Winters. Elwood P. Suggins. Gilbert Gottfried piece.
51:30 Hollywood Helper: Taylor Swift. Kevin defends. Ralph on the rampage.
54:55 SModCo ads. babble.ting.com
57:14 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan airtight in Coachella. Promoting Scary Movie 5 on Letterman. Kev  on Coachella; Harley there as we speak. Angry Ralph Hendrix.
1:01:40 Lindsay to complete rehab in NY. Wine discount.
1:02:30 Ray J releases "I Hit It First." "I get all the cunts mixed up." Bullshit detector off the scale.
1:05:40 Rick Ross loses Reebok endorsement deal for UOENO. Bullshit detector, once more.
1:07:00 Flavor Flav due in court. "Calendar," "Almost stabbable."
1:08:20 Kev spits some LLCoolJ shit, and recounts meeting him, recently. Accidental Racist. "Which just makes it a big fuckin' pile of shit!" Ralph and Kevin read the lyrics.
1:15:55 Farrah Abraham Teen Mom fucks Ralph right off. Waxes kids eyebrows. Sex-tape to be released. "I don't exist anything about that ..." HH. My Teenage Dream Ended. On My Own. 
1:22:50 Quote: "This is why they won't sell me a gun."
1:23:15 Meltdown. Ralph is my hero. 
1:25:50 Jaime Pressly and Estella Warren fight it out in Bootsy Bellows.
1:27:40 Jenna Jameson beat up her transgender assistant. 
1:29:20 Justin Bieber declares himself King of the Twitterverse. "37?!" 53% of his followers are fake accounts. (17.8m followers).
1:31:40 Judge Judy has been renewed to 2017. Ralph on her income. Vigilanteism.
1:32:45 Movies That Will Suck: New GI Joe movie. Point Break to be remade. "Disappointed!" Ralph on Point Break. Ralph's voice-over voice. Ricky Stanicky.
1:36:45 Geek News: Guy chides Kev. Arrow cast additions. Ralph chides Kevin.
1:38:35 Prop sale news. Star Trek: Into Darkness crashed UK internet. Kevin on Zoe Saldana. Poster complaints.
1:42:40 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 123

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club and Podcast Theater on April 5, 2013."
Runtime: 1:29:48
Recorded Fri, 5th Apr. 2013
Released Sun, 7th Apr. 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.

3:54 Kyle Hebert intro.

4:40 "Friiiday, Friiiday ..."

5:00 Ralph on Pontius Pilate. Kevin smoking OG Church.

6:08 Shout-outs: Kevin pinched a nerve in his back, picking up Mulder. Ralph mentions Bret Favre.

9:55 Christian and Ufa invaded and then they stayed. Mr. Freeze attacks Hogwarts. Kevin as Hermione, and Porky the random tubby Slytherin. Quasimodo pulls. 

13:35 Kevin performs "Ufa, Ufa, more margaritas."

13:50 Lauren from Australia is surprised with a shout-out from her husband, who is left to look after 15 chickens. Angry Christian Bale and the chickens. Needs a good spanking.

18:04 Sam from Oklahoma in LA to visit The Lovitz. Mom bought tickets. Bought a round of drinks.

20:05 Gillian and Lexie with an Adam West shout-out.

21:10 Jonathan and Peggy, have been to 20+ Live Babbles. Bowie shout out.

23.30 Email bag: Adam Azaghouri sends in the Bale Time theme.

24:06 **first appearance** Bale Time theme.

24:32 Bale Time: Frank N. Furter.

25:00 Chris Koulak is single, and Sean Connery tells him to man up. 

26:15 A Dusty Rhodes asks for Huell Howser to explain a Roman Face Mask (Roman Hemlet).

27:30 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Dirwith Kennedy asks for a Lewis Black oath.

29:12 Tinseltown Stiffs: Roger Ebert. Siskel & Ebert: Mallrats.

35:40 Quote: "Two thumbs up ... six feet down."

35:50 Tinseltown Stiff: Jane Henson. Puppetry class. Ralph and Kevin sing Kermit.

38:20 Tinseltown Stiff: Milo O'Shea. The Verdict. 

39:45 Tinseltown Stiff: George Gladir. Sabrina.

41:35 Tinseltown Stiff: Carmine Infantino. Flash. Batman.

42:55 SModCo ads. babble.ting.com

45:30 Hollywood Helper: Heidi Klum saves! Nanny. Tit came out.
47:33 Quote: "What happened to freedom in the press?!"

48:30 Exquisite Acting: Spock crying.

50:30 Shit That Should Not Be: Sixteen Candles.

52:20 Kev-In: (Movie posters) The Podfather. Gooper. The SMobbit.
54:20 HBO Headlines: Jimmy Fallon to replace Jay Leno on The Tonight Show.
57:25 Shain Gandee not eligible to be a Tinseltown Stiff. Ralph plugs Kevin and Bean. Ralph explains "Muddin'." Nelson Muntz at The Lovitz. "Squirrellin'."
1:01:20 Snesley Whipes out of prison.
1:02:10 Glee dude in rehab.
1:03:00 Amanda Bynes "impersonator" in Times Square. Blow Dry Bars explained.
1:07:00 Lindsay Lohan's wrong April Fool's joke. Beach. Leg.
1:08:15 Justin Bieber working his way through Europe. "Kurt Grabbenwanger." Illegal tattooing.
1:12:20 Jeremy Irons on same-sex marriage.
1:13:45 More charges brought against Elmo.
1:15:15 Courtney Stodden refused to have Courtney Stodden. Girls and Corpses.
1:16:40 Huey Lewis and the News Sports' turns 30. Funny or Die.
1:18:05 Movies That Will Suck: Hercules 3D, and another Hercules movie.
1:19:50 Geek News: Tom Hardy and Little Bane.
1:21:15 Replica Batmobile. Kevin on his grandfather. Ralph on young alcoholism.
1:24:00 Vadering.
1:25:00 The Black Hole to be rebooted - Ralph on Kim Kardashian this week.
1:26:30 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 122

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater on Saturday, March 30, 2013."
Runtime: 1:46:35
Recorded Sat, 30th Mar. 2013
Released Sun, 31st Mar. 2013

Tonight's sponsor: The DAVE school

0:00 SModCo ads.

2:42 Kyle Hebert intro.

3:20 Mic problems? 

3:55 Kevin smoking Bubba Kush, this evening. Ralph's Porky Pig impression.

4:30 Kevin pimps Dredd.

5:05 Quote: "I saw it when people were still talking about it ..."

5:47 Nobody yells at Kevin on planes, anymore.

7:37 Wondercon is currently happening in Anaheim, CA. Kevin explains for the audience.

8:15 Quote: "Geek bent."

8:30 Shout outs: Alex writes in for Carolyn from Vancouver, remounting Watering-Hole. Jerry Lewis steps in.

9:15 Quote: "Drawing a smile on my face with a dick."

11:25 Quote: "I just shit myself."

11:35 Matt and Jamie celebrate one year's marriage. Huell Howser.

11:47 Quote: "Bullshit!"

12:40 HBO is the opposite of PBS.

13:15 **first appearance** Stern/Gay Huell Howser.

13:58 Quote: "Eww! That's dirty! I said 'dick,' not 'cock!'"

14:44 Pi from Albequerque, NM is at The Lovitz. Friends ditched him on his birthday. Kevin tries to set up Pi. Al Pacino More Margaritas song.

15:45 Quote: "Who wants a piece of Pi, tonight?"

17:20 Ralph concentrates on his drink. Lucy, Herbert, Maria et al, celebrate nothing. Rosa depressed. Ralph makes light of Rosa's story. Kevin's creepy/sexy voice.

19:20 Quote: "Get some whipped cream on that Pi ..."

20:20 Mewes takes a hit.

21:20 "It's all good at The Lovitz."

21:35 Brian, Kara, Jacob and Danielle from Nebraska enjoy a Pacino shout-out. Ralph and Kevin refuse to take responsibility for a line.

23:30 Caleb et al are a no-show. Angry Bowie shout-out.

25:20 Kevin recalls he was at Cannes, no he's sucking his own boobs on-stage.

25:55 Justin Bieber photo. "Ghost-Bieber, whatd'ya want?!"

26:40 Kevin's mother stepped in for him in school.

27:15 Danny from Mass. sent in X-Men containment camp.

28:10 Pedro from Brazil sends in Ralph in Highway to Heaven. Screencap.

30:55 Kevin recounts seeing Doogie Howser as a young man, at the Quick Stop.

32:00 Kevin has passed the Clerks III script to his wife and Bryan Johnson.

32:50 Joel Sutton from Monroe asks for the Harrison Ford Christian Bale rant.

34:40 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Pablo Hernandez from Oxnard asks for Sean Connery.

35:55 Tinseltown Stiffs: Phil Ramone.

37:01 Tinseltown Stiff: Derek Watkins.

38:00 For the Record: Ralph is anti-cancer.

39:05 Cop Out will live on forever.

39:15 Tinseltown Stiff: Don Payne.

39:55 Tinseltown Stiff: Gordon Stoker. Kevin sings. Don't Be Cruel.

42:25 Tinseltown Stiff: Richard Griffiths. Pic.

44:02 SModCo ads. DAVE school

47:20 Shit That Should Not Be: Damien from Melbourne sends in Star Wars, "Carrie!" Disney cease and desist.

49:40 Exquisite Acting: Nic Cage in Kick-Ass - Now swiiiitch ... to Kryptoniiiite!

51:35 Kevin on Cage in the future.

52:40 Kev-In: (Cosplay) Kingpin, Silent Boba, BatRalph and Silent Bobbin.

54:40 Kevin's early sexual career. (50's bush).

57:10 Kevin Smith: LickMaster for the Orient.

58:00 Ralph chastises Kevin. "12 year-olds putting out."

1:00:00 HBO Headlines: Justin Bieber themes

1:00:50 Jim LeScouseSki's theme.

1:01:20 Buzz Compton's theme. Much delight.

1:02:30 **first appearance** Rich Williams' theme. (Editor's note: I fuckin' love that.)

1:03:45 Bieber minutiae: Lambourghini at 8am and spitting (Kevin references The Dark Knight Returns). 

1:06:20 Pet monkey in quarantine.

1:08:00 Ralph on Poland. Airport.

1:09:55 Pissed at photographs. Meme.

1:10:55 Amanda Bynes wants to be left alone. Tweet. Audience interaction and DeGrassi chat.

1:13:00 Invented LOLOL.

1:13:20 Times Square outfit. Walking in to shit.

1:14:30 Lindsay Lohan wanted to go to Coachella, before rehab.

1:15:30 Unliked on the Anger Management set.

1:16:45 Sao Paolo clubbin'.

1:17:45 The Ford Figo ad. Kevin's daughter has been watching The Kardashians, but fails to realize it's actually real.

1:20:40 Kardashian pussy-smelling contest. Angry-Garman. Video.

1:21:45 Quote: "They're smelling each others cunts on this show!" 

1:25:30 Duck Dynasty earning 8.6m viewers a week.

1:27:30 José Martinez sued Disney after he was stuck on It's A Small World.

1:30:52 John Hamm's cock. Distracting. Jon Hamm's Wang. "The ridge."

1:34:10 Mr. T at the Blackhawks game. Rocky discussed.

1:36:55 Geek News: Robert Redford cast in the Captain America The Winter Soldier.

1:39:30 Tomb Raider to be rebooted.

1:40:00 Wonder Woman XXX: A porn parody. Still. Comparison.

1:41:45 Kevin hasn't seen the Clerks porn parody. Ralph has.

1:42:25 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes. Tunnel.

Hollywood Babble-On 121: Secret Origin

Episode: Link.
Comments: "A special compilation of all of the best bits of Babble-On from the shows beginnings to now."
Runtime: 1:51:48
Recorded 2010-present.
Released Mon, 24th Mar. 2013

Hello Garmy,

I thought I would use this place to explain a little of the production process of Hollywood Babble-On 121: Secret Origin, and why an 'Issue Zero,' is necessary.

In the past couple of months, I have been working on several SModCo projects, with my good friend and SmodCast Internet Radio Chief Jizzmopper, Declan Quinn, the first of them being Tell 'Em Steve-Dave 143: And on the 7th Day, God Listened to TESD, which is a Zero Issue for fellow SModCo Podcast, Tell 'Em Steve-Dave.

To the uninitiated, the Zero Issue may seem like a mere clip show, but it's uses are many, the most prominent thus; Potential new listeners feel that to sit through 150+ hours of pod to catch up to the present episode is a gargantuan task. The Zero Issue let's said person hear select fragments, brings them up to speed, and hopefully gives them the urge to download the back catalogue and enjoy it.

I had a great time putting TESD 143 together with Declan, using the information provided by the TESD Army. So much so, that I wanted to do another, but for Hollywood Babble-On. Instead of asking what clips people would like, I used my notes from this blog, as all the information was still fresh in my brain (I had caught up to the present point, some three months earlier).

Which brings me to today; the Secret Origin episode went up, but I was informed by some parties that there are elements of HBO which are missing. Ralph has given me permission to put together Secret Origin Part II, which I will put together in the coming weeks, depending on other ongoing projects that I am involved in.

If you would like to submit a clip to Secret Origins Part II, tweet me with the following details, and I will try to insert it.*

@HBOHelper. Brief description. Episode number and timestamp. #HBOClips

Ex: @HBOHelper "BoyToucher37" HBO94. #HBOClips

Simples.

I will collate all the info and will put it together sometime soon.

Thanks for reading, and Babble-On!

Joseph (Chile).



*editors decision final.

Hollywood Babble-On 120

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club and Podcast Theater on February 23, 2013."
Runtime: 1:29:40
Recorded Sat, 16th Mar. 2013
Released Mon, 18th Mar. 2013

Tonight's sponsor: The DAVE school0:00 Kyle Hebert intro.
1:00 Quote: "Premature applausination."
1:20 Audience member chided. Sex and the City girls discussed. Girls girls and cum discussed.
3:45 Jay and Silent Bob making out. Mic-cables have been changed.
5:30 Shout-outs: Will Wilkins at The Lovitz. Christian Bale schooling ol' Will.
7:55 Renné and Stewart from Alberta, Canada (Ralph saw Kevin on Epic Meal Time), celebrate Stewart's birthday. Ralph terrifies Kevin with his detailing of Planet of the Apes.
11:00 Francie and Javier from San José, celebrate their engagement. Dionne Warwick joke. To be married on 4/20. Bane steps in. Batman Begins and Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet reference. Relationship mulled over.
11:45 Quote: "File my cock in your mouth!"
15:40 Brian et al, celebrate Brian's birthday. Kevin disappointed by "Pickles." Gay Ghost.
18:20 Nancy and Phil Lantis celebrate 25 years married. "Diplomatic Longevity." Bowie 12" remix shout-out.
21:40 Email bag: Gabe from San Diego asks for Huell Howser Christian Bale rant. Whiskey Fairy visits Ralph. Weed Fairy lingering ...
23:50 Justin from Boise, Idaho wants his wife to get herpes. Casey Kasem and Ed Wynne shout-outs.
26:00 Jeremy from Melbourne, Australia offended by the digeridoo Light Saber. Garmy turning on Ralph. Arnie with an Australian accent. "That's not a knife, this is a knife ..."
28:00 Burnt Lamb offers the Lindsay BLowhan doll.
29:10 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Allie asks for Tom Brokaw, and explains the process.
30:50 Tinseltown Stiffs: Shark. (K-Mart). Ralph creating details.
32:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Clive Burr. Run to the Hills.
34:50 Tinseltown Stiff: Malachi Throne. False Face. Garman with Throne-Trivia.
37:20 Hollywood Helper: Adam West. Zack gets a bigger box. Shark-scar.
39:30 Exquisite Acting: Gary Oldman in The Fifth Element.
40:50 Shit That Should Not Be: Logan's Run. Still. "Vulcan photo-bombing." "The Spocker."
43:45 Kev-In: Manda-Kev-In, Bodyguard-In, Matt from Harrisburg sends in, Audio Kev-In. Kevin chided by daughter.
47:45 SModCo ads.
50:25 HBO Headlines: Veronica Mars Kickstarter. Ralph wants to see tits.
54:40 Celebrity Sick-Bay: Li'l Wayne has seizures. Lou Grant ill. 'Up' praised.
57:20 Lady Gaga recovering from hip therapy. Ralph calls someone an asshole. Wheelchair.
59:30 Secretariat Jessica Parker foot problems.
1:00:40 Fuck Tapes' Kim Kardashian Vampire Facial. Kevin amazed by the release of the photo.
1:02:40 Kardashian's pimp putting daughter together with Will Smith's son. "The Church of the Relentless Cunt."
1:04:15 Holly Madison has child. "Rainbow Aurora."
1:06:00 Ralph asks for a Justin Bieber theme. Missed Nap.
1:07:00 Lindsay Lohan's 2012 tax statements via Justin Bieber Instagram rant. "Selling my teeth on eBay."
1:08:55 Taylor Swift fan letters thrown away, mercilessly.
1:10:10 Jeopardy! hates Tadolf, too.
1:10:50 Chelsea Handler in Aspen, CO, throws bread at old man.
1:12:00 Guy loves Netflix.
1:12:55 Movies That Will Suck: Sony announces Good Times Movie. "Good Times with Madea!" Kevin sings the theme. "How can he know all dat?!" Kevin describes his dream Good Times movie. Asians take a hit, via Ralph and DJ James.
1:16:45 Kevin reads a tweet; "On page 59 of Clerks III," and is moving forward on the script. Ralph has multiple parts in the movie. Jeff Anderson still not confirmed.
1:19:25 Geek News: Mark Ruffalo announces there in no stand-alone Hulk Movie. "Disappointed!"
1:21:10 Kick Ass 2 trailer released. "She 18, yet?"
1:23:11 Heather Large's Emperor Palpatine ultrasound.
1:25:00 Liam Neeson's 8============D jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 118:The Kevin Smith Movie Club and Hollywood Babble-On 119

Episode: Link.
Comments: "While Babble is off for the week, hear a fun indie film state of the union between two generations of movie dreamers. Forget the fairy tale story of CLERKS, kids: MISS DECEMBER director Derek Lindeman and Producer Tommy Avallone tell you what it's REALLY like to be in the trenches of current-day indie filmmaking! Geek out over making-of-MALLRATS stories and learn tips on how to make movies CHEAP!"
Runtime: 2:10:58
Recorded Sat, 2nd Mar (?). 2013
Released Sun, 3rd Mar. 2013

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club and Podcast Theater on February 23, 2013."
Runtime: 1:33:00
Recorded Sat, 9th Mar. 2013
Released Sun, 10th Mar. 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.
2:22 Kyle Hebert intro.
3:30 Kevin plugs Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie, and shows the trailer.
6:45 Ralph asks a spoiler, and Kevin explains a little. Mic problems "Like working with an uncut cock."
8:30 Kevin smoking OG Kush. Asks if Ralph is circumcised. Kevin says his dad was uncut, and his parents constantly slept nude. Clerks story; Mosier sees Kevin's mother nude.
12:40 Ralph apologizes for Kevin's analogy.
13:10 Shout-outs: Josh, Nick, Mike and James are cut, and celebrate Josh's birthday. Rick from WI frozen out. "It's so cakey!"
15:14 Nicky and Nicko from NZ have their names questioned. "You guys are The Tits."
16:45 Ralph regales us with an anecdote of his family, over Lincoln. Pacino Baby advice. "Nicorette and the digeridoo."
20:40 Bobby Robson from St. Louis, MO, visits LA. Ex-gf takes a hit. Bane Lay Advice.
23:35 Charlie and Miwani (?) celebrate Charlie's birthday. Big hammering/big cock. Huell Howser.
25:40 Crystal M. Kennedy celebrates her 28th birthday.
27:50 Email bag: Ralph congratulated on The Joe Schmo Show. Babble-On reference.
29:15 James from MI, found someone had a seizure listening to HBO.
30:00 Graham from Dublin sends in Tara.
30:40 Chip Garner asks for Arnie to sound Italian (Difficulty 8.9).
31:55 Warren Farrington asks for Louis Armstrong Green Lantern Oath.
33:45 Tinseltown Stiffs: Alvin Lee. I'd Love To Change The World.
35:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Buddy Rogers. You Really Got A Hold On Me.
37:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Bonnie Franklin.
39:00 Tinseltown Stiff: Stompin' Tom Connors. (Hockey, eh?) "Moosehead." 
43:10 Hollywood Helpers: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. "Sudbury, eh?" Pic.
46:35 Exquisite Acting: Jens Schmidt sends in Blood Sport. "Powder."
49:10 Shit That Should Not Be: Hercules. "Disappointed!"
52:20 Kev-In: (Through Time) Surrender. Rapper. Credits.
54:00 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan refuses Charlie Sheen's offer of mentoring. Setting up youth foundation. Offered 90-day house arrest. 
57:30 Justin Bieber in the UK, tossed out of his own birthday party. Late-showing. Fainted on-stage. "Low of breathe." Cockney kicks ass. Pop scrotum.
1:05:00 Mutually-assured self-destruction.
1:06:20 Chris Brown and Rihanna back together. What an asshole.
1:08:35 Honey Boo Boo selling girl scout cookies on her FaceBook page.
1:10:20 Snooki in the news.
1:11:25 Miss Delaware in on-line porn film.
1:12:20 Porn Star Kim Kardashian not respecting her pregnancy.
1:13:40 Tadolph Switler dooms Amy Poellher to Hell.
1:14:50 Russell Crowe saw a UFO. Harbour.
1:16:45 Jeff Foxworthy on the Great American Bake-off. 
1:17:50 Movies That Will Suck: new Tarzan movie. Harrison Ford announced for Anchorman 2.
1:21:35 Geek News: Wonder Woman.
1:24:20 Christopher Nolan to head the Justice League movie; Christian Bale possibly on hand.
1:25:30 Batman in Bradford. UnMasked.
1:28:25 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.