Comments: "While Kev's out of town, Ralph's guest host proves the old saying, "the Mohr, the merrier."
Recorded Sat, 26th May 2012
Released Mon, 28th May 2012
Special guest host: Jay Mohr.
Tonight's sponsor: Audible.com
0:00 SModCo ads.
2:30 Intro by Kyle Hebert.
3:35 Ralph plugs Audible.com
4:25 Great Moments in Celebrity Autobiographies: Gasping for Airtime by Jay Mohr.
6:00 Jay Mohr appears - Jay looking at Ralph's jib.
7:20 Shout-outs: Ralph has seen Jay's penis.
8:20 Shane, Jules, Matt and Val welcomed as Arnie.
9:15 Quotes: "Did you hear another Kennedy died? The wrong one again ..." "Convertibles ..."
10:10 Amber and Andy Jacobs and Paul Kreuger at The Lovitz in uniform. 10th time at HBO. Subway punch-card introduced - Jay's Tracy Morgan impression.
12:30 Blake and Annie celebrate their honeymoon. Ralph plugs Mohr Stories. Bill Cosby - pussy licker. Short flights.
14:45 Email bag: Dual Lovitz'. Chris Keegan sent in this, for Ralph.
16:25 Maria from Pittsburg, PA lets husband plow the back field. "Whale-eye."
18:10 Iman has three brown-eyes.
18:45 Mary-Lynn from Phoenix, AZ sends in this. Ralph on Mohr Stories. Jay Mohr Christopher Walken. Bowie makes Jay happy.
21:43 Tinseltown Stiffs: Donna Summer. Love To Love You Baby. Medley. Harvey Keitel pops in. Donna Summer facts. DJ James chimes in with a factoid.
26:10 Jay on James "Not-that-James" Franco. "File" explained to Jay.
28:40 Aretha Franklyn Over/Under.
29:20 Jon not at The Lovitz tonight.
30:00 Shit That Should Not Be: The Godfather.
31:00 Quote: "Sometimes he's a sweet guy."
32:20 Quote: "Hit him in his fuckin' clam!"
32:30 Jay quizzed James Caan on why he couldn't walk.
33:30 James wouldn't appear on Jay's podcast. "I'm not afraid of you." Mary Kennedy discussed.
35:00 Exquisite Acting: Gabe sends in Mark Wahlberg in The Happening.
36:50 **first appearance** "What, no!"
37:38 What, no Remix.
39:00 Jay loves HBO. Ralph plays Mark Wahlberg's dad in Ted. Jay's Adam Sandler. Ralph enjoying the show, tonight. (Don't tell Kevin!)
41:20 Forrest Whittaker's "What, no!" Ed Wynn, too.
42:20 Quote: "Look at the game tape!"
42:30 HBO Headlines: Battleship tanking. Avengers crushing the competition. Rihanna got punched in the face by Jackie Brown. Jay almost puts his foot into his mouth.
44:25 Men In Black III - Will Smith slaps a dude.
46:20 Quote: "Sattelite Russian."
47:00 Ralph's Rape whistle - Blowin' Will Smith.
48:50 Raven Symone is an alleged lesbian. Jay on being gay. Pro Wrestling. Jay asked to be on Celebrity Fit Club.
49:25 Quote: "Wife-woman."
51:50 More masseurs come out against John Travolta. Luis Gonzalez got consensual sex from John.
53:00 Quote: "Chilean Miner drilling," "Sexy chinky China music."
54:10 Jay and Ralph naked in a spa.
55:00 Quote: "ñom-ñom-ñom!"
55:40 Greased Lightning.
56:30 Lindsay Lohan partying with a bunch of douchebags. Photo. Garman advice.
59:00 Nick Stahl been missing for several days. Contacted family, but not his wife.
1:00:20 Chyna allegedly fine. Jay has an Intervention question. Ralph quit smoking when his daughter was born - smoking through your tracheae is wrong.
1:05:15 Jenny McCarthy cured autism. Jay not a fan. New shows on the horizon.
1:06:40 Quote: "You are the Rosa Parks of jizz."
1:07:40 America turns against Glee. Jay impressed with the HBO audience. Naya Rivera TV clip.
1:09:51 Quote: "Abracadabra!"
1:10:55 Kim Kardashian in England. Ugh. Alan Carr Chatty Man. Ugh.
1:13:45 Quote: "Ray Jay's dick has launched more careers than The Outsiders."
1:14:00 Ralph big on celebrity porn, quizzed on what he's seen.
1:15:35 Movies That Will Suck: 50 Shades of Grey movie in the works (Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart). Ryan Reynolds in Highlander. A cornucopia of impressions for Highlander.
1:21:00 Both Ralph and Jay would fuck David Bowie.
1:21:00 Jennifer Lopez may leave American Idol. Another cornucopia of impressions.
1:23:40 Bono could be the richest musician after FaceBook stock made public. Bono denies. Alter-egos. Jay on Bono on Africa, and Santa Monica.
1:27:20 Quotes: "Dentists without borders," "Over there!"
1:28:10 Van Halen have cancelled 30+ dates. Ralph and Jay pick their favorite respective Van Halen's tracks.
1:30:30 The Wiggles are breaking up! Devastation ... Ralph busts out some Wiggles knowledge.
1:32:35 Quote: "Horrywood Babber-Ron!" Kim Jong-Un Bowie.
1:33:20 Quote: "You are a different breed of cat ..."
1:34:45 Quote: "Do the Monkrey!"
1:35:20 Bret Michaels clothesline. Ralph as Dirty Harry. Jay liked Gran Torino.
1:38:00 Quotes: "Wall-biters." "Every song has two chords!" "BAM!"
1:39:30 Quote: "Kick rocks ..." Jay on podcasting.
1:40:20 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.