Comments: "Ralph and Kevin belly up and double down. Recorded live at the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach, California 5/8/12."
Recorded Tue, 8th May 2012
Released Wed, 9th May 2012
0:00 SModCo ads.
2:40 Intro by Kyle Hebert.
4:00 Kevin was here previously with Jay and Silent Bob Get Old.
5:05 Ralph congratulates Kevin on the Devil's defeating the Flyers. (New Jersey reached the final against the Kings. Kings win).
7:25 Twitter comments incite gay acts.
7:55 Ralph blushes.
8:30 Shout-outs: (Tonight's themes played by Kevin's Tour manager, Alan Wysocki). McRib, Corey, Mike and David Keane ... explains name. Kevin thrilled; Ralph bored. David Keane has an obsession with Batman. Kevin somewhat confused by the bit (Me too).
9:05 Bowie mis-play.
12:55 Quote: "Copyright, Kevin Smith."
14:20 Orlando and Ben celebrate their 25th birthdays.
15:30 Ray and Crystal celebrate Crystal's birthday.
16:15 Quote: "LIAR!"
16:30 Alan, Britney, Brianna and Lance celebrate Alan's birthday.
17:50 Kevin watched Insomnia and pictured Ralph all the way through.
18:15 Carol and Dave make it! Kevin on cutting. Carol to see The Avengers. Dave's happy birthday. Shatner doing Pacino.
20:30 Quote: "Difficulty level of 9."
21:20 Chris Ryall (of IDW) and Julie celebrate Julie's birthday.
24:20 Email bag: Rob from St. Louis, MO, needs to answer for his internet history and HBO.
26:00 Quote: "Creaky neck."
26:35 Louis from Portugal asks for advice on France.
27:30 Mark the Mountie asks for a birthday shout-out.
29:05 Seth Hayes asks for Doc Brown Creepy Clown.
31:35 Tinseltown Stiffs: Adam Yauch. Cookie Puss. You Got To Fight For Your Right To Party.
35:00 Tinseltown Stiff: George Lindsey.
35:30 Quote: "You piece of shit!"
36:00 Tinseltown Stiff: Charles Pitts. Shaft.
37:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Maurice Sendak.
38:40 Quote: "He knew kids were assholes ..."
39:10 Hollywood Helpers: Dustin Hoffman saves a dude!
40:50 Ralph's Rain Man impression. Hero.
42:20 Hollywood Helper. Mila Kunis saves a dude! Kevin questions some facts. Mila plays Meg Griffin, and has worked with Ralph.
45:40 HBO Headlines: (Theme cut short) Avengers opened to $200m. Avengers 2 announced. Multi-generational culture. Loki-Poki Stick questioned. Kevin shouts at Carol. John Carter takes a knocking. Robert Downey Jr. praised.
48:00 Quote: "He'd be a little Thor ..."
50:15 Quote: "We're going to take away your geek card ... waiting 3 days ..."
51:30 Quote: "Here, have some Avengers money!"
52:20 Samuel L. Jackson in the Guinness Book of Records. Jungle Fever. Mufuqqin mushrooms.
54:30 Calcutta annoyed with The Avengers. Ralph defends.
55:20 Quote: "Fuck Ruffalo, wear Buffalo!"
57:00 Upcoming Movie Trailer. "How."
57:30 Ashton Kutcher in Popchips. Audio cuts out; probably for the better.
1:00:00 **first appearance** John Travolta and the masseur.
1:00:40 **first appearance** "So weird!"
1:02:30 Quote: "Saturday Night Feeler."
1:03:30 Kevin mentions Mewes.
1:04:12 Mic drop. TMI.
1:05:10 Quote: "Three-way sex, and doubly penetrated."
1:05:55 Quote: "Initially, the taste of cum made me gag."
1:07:20 Carrie Fisher outs John.
1:07:50 Matthew Fox popped for DUI.
1:09:00 Charlie Sheen VIP Room.
1:09:50 Quote: "2.5 balls."
1:10:00 Natalie Wood's daughter arrested.
1:11:05 Mike Tyson's Undisputed Truth on Broadway.
1:12:00 Quote: "Rapin'."
1:12:25 Floyd Mayweather with 50 Cent, HHH and Justin Bieber.
1:14:20 Fire at Tyler Perry's studio.
1:14:50 Kim Kardashian wants to be an actress. "Robot American Ryan Seacrest."
1:16:10 Quotes: "She can't fucking act!" "Oh, Those Black Cocks!"
1:17:00 Three Jewish Grandmothers.
1:18:00 TruTV announces Upload: With Shaquille O'Neill, and Turbulance, with Howie Mandell.
1:19:20 Octomom to make a (solo) porn video.
1:20:25 Quote: "You're not on Mad Men, for fucks sake!"
1:21:22 Rebecca Black back. Sing It. Interview.
1:23:10 Lindsay Lohan at the White House, with Kim Kardashian. $100 tip. Lindsay had dinner with Woody Allen.
1:25:05 Quote: "Daughter-wife?!"
1:26:20 Ted Nugent meltdown.
1:28:50 Paul Hogan owed $150m in back taxes. Paul Hogan bio. Working on a return.
1:30:00 Quote: "Outback Mountain!"
1:30:40 James Cameron working only on Avatar movies.
1:31:30 Tarzan to return. Uninspired. Ralph asks if anyone cares. No-one does.
1:33:30 Ted Nugent takes another hit.
1:34:00 Movies That Will Suck: Arnie make another movie. Little Shop of Horrors. Dukes of Hazzard reboot. Waynes World 3. Austin Powers sequel. Nick Cannon School Dance.
1:35:15 Quote: "Come with me, if you want to live ... with prostate cancer."
1:36:45 Quote: "What The Fuck?!"
1:37:40 Quote: "He's not sick enough ..."
1:38:25 Michael Jackson back drinking Pepsi. "Dig him up, and set him on fire again."
1:39:40 Jay-Z on Oprah. Aging-Serum. $25,000 worth of shoes in her closet. 600k Rocking horse.
1:42:00 One Direction (Fuck these assholes) get pissed on by a koala. Ralph explains chlamydiae
1:42:25 Quote: "Buddy Holly Airlines."
1:45:10 Quote: "Koalabortion."
1:45:30 Geek News: Chris Evans in Playboy. Kevin recalls seeing him at a radio station.
1:48:10 Comic-Con HBO tickets on sale.
1:49:10 DareDevil reboot announced.
1:50:15 Quote: "Smells like bacon!"
1:50:45 Argo trailer. Kev on Affleck.
1:52:30 Obiwan Kenobi causes a 5 car pile-up.
1:54:00 Batman is gay. Ralph reassures that Batman is straight. Seduction of the Innocent.
1:55:41 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.