Hollywood Babble-On 131

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision: YouTube.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on July 12, 2013."
Runtime: 1:47:46
Recorded Fri. 12th July, 2013
Released Mon, 15th July, 2013

Show notes kindly provided by @Forgeticus

0:00 SModCo ads.
0:45 Kyle Hebert intro.
1:20 And he's Kevin doesn't-know-what-day-it-is Smith.
2:00 Period talk. Downton Abbey.
5:00 Ralph does Peanuts impressions.
5:40 Ralph's Comic-Con Schedule.
6:05 Ralph's hosting Dexter panel. Kev thinks they should do one next year. Ralph: "Showtime's checks cash, I'm willing to do it ... I'll bring one of the corpses on stage, I don't give a fuck."
7:00 Dexter talk. Charlotte Rampling is not hot anymore.
7:45 Kevin: "Look at you throwing her a bone. As Ralph: "I wouldn't fuck her, but she acts good."

8:25 A bisexual Peter Parker. Kevin "Look, you think you know Spiderman? Now he puts a dick in his mouth!" Spidey senses all over Kev's face, neck, chest.
9:15 Kev brings up Ralph moderating After Earth panel. He can sell anything. Ralph: "Hey, doesn't that look great!? ...Hello?" 

9:45 Ralph wasn't allowed to mention M. Night Shyamalan’s name. 

10:15 Kev calls out Ralph having to suck Jayden Smith's cock and does a convincing impression. 

11:10 New HBO shirt for sale at Comic-Con. 

11:40 Shoutouts: 

12:10 Paul Rizzo makes intro video for Shoutouts. 

13:45 Michael and Michelle Tuscansy. Thanks for the help with meth. Michael needs to get laid. 

15:45 Kev as bi Spidey: "I'm saving the city. *blowjob sounds* 

16:00 Kyle and Chelsea Vorce from Sac town want to hear Jack Nicholson. 

18:45 Kevin could have sex with Ralph as many celebrities. Al Pacino, Charlton Heston, Dudley Moore.
19:30 Ralph reading Horton Hears a Who! to his kid, as Al Pacino "Ooah, I heard a fucking who. Come on now, with the fucking Who!" Kev dies laughing. 

20:30 Joel, Andreas, Essa? and Vicky just got in on the short bus from Sweden. 

22:15 Mason Wood is here with his famous knife throwing friend Jack Dagger. 

24:10 Sean Connery vs Jack Dagger, Bond villain. 

25:10 Kevin: "You never meet fucking knife throwers anymore." 

25:35 Dave and Joshua here for bachelor party. Fuck Mark. Hello from The Germans. 

27:55 Christian and Brendan from It's a Small World wants a thespian shout-out from David Bowie.
30:20 Email bag. 

30:35 Dave Wilcox from Australia writes in about crime at Batman Railway Station and Constable Adam West.
32:00 Andrew wants Christopher Walken to sing Sweet Transvestite. 

33:00 Chris Mack is watching Anne Heche's Butthole. 

34:00 Banks Lee writes Disney Legends awards go Dick Clark and Ed Wynn. What would that sounds like? 

35:40 Tony Dammit wants people to crowdsource his Boba Fett porn. Pic.
37:10 Ed Valasco went to Pink's hotdog found Huell Howser special, 2 wieners in 1 bun.
38:00 Ralph makes a period hotdog joke. 

40:05 Creepy Clown Time - Justin from Idaho would like Pee Wee Herman. 

41:25 Tinseltown Stiffs: Joe Conley from The Waltons. 

43:10 Tinseltown Stiff: John David Wilson, Animator on Grease Intro. 

44:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Ryan Davis, podcaster. 

45:55 Hollywood Helper: Johnny Depp, again. Wants to buy Wounded Knee and give it back to Native Americans. 

48:50 SModCo Ads. 

50:40 Shit that should not be: Men In Black Tommy Lee Jones doesn't know how to use a keyboard.
53:00 Exquisite Acting: William Shatner Evil Captain Kirk.
55:00 Kev-In: True Blood, Pacific Rim Job, Despicable Weed.
57:25 HBO Headlines: KTVU News misreports Asiana crash pilot's names. 

1:02:00 Syfy annouces sequel to Sharknado. Needed Ralph Garman. "Damn you Sharktopus!" 

1:03:00 Gwyneth Paltrow thinks the sun can't be bad for you. 

1:04:25 Taylor Swift has fan arrested for saying she's with Satan and tweeting death threats. 

1:06:15 Justin Bieber went on stage 2.5 hours late. Kid's nodding off "I don't belieb anymore." 

1:08:20 Justin Bieber touched The Stanley Cup, stood on Blackhawks logo. 

1:09:55 Jusitin Bieber pisses in mop bucket, disrespects Bill Clinton photo, has club fined for underage drinking. Vid. 

 1:15:20 Amanda Bynes adds The Obamas to her Ugly list. 

1:16:20 Kevin would put his penis behind Jen's big ears. 

1:17:00 Good to see Amanda dressing up for court. 

1:17:10 Is she unhealthy/crazy? Ralph thinks she is batshit crazy. "She needs to be in a place with very comfortable walls." 

1:17:45 Backdoor Teen Mom: Farrah Abraham thrown out of rehab. "You know what kind of a cunt you have to be to be thrown out of rehab?" Tanning Mom was there. 

1:19:55 Lindsay Lohan has a new intro video. Rehab wants her to stay extra 30 days. 

1:21:55 Speaking of drunks, Charlie Sheen took a private jet to Scotland to look for Loch Ness monster. 

1:24:00 Kayne West is a dick, grabs camera and sets new rules: "Don't talk. Don't talk to me. I don't wanna hear paparazzi talk to me or anybody I know. And tell everybody never to talk to anyone that anyone knows. Don't talk to themselves. Don't talk ever again." 

1:27:15 Movies That Will Suck: Dumb and Dumber will shoot in Sept. Ralph says it was 20 years ago.
1:28:10 Kevin: "You should never sequelize something you made 20 years ago is what you’re saying?" Ralph backtracks. Ralph thinks they should not talk in the movie. Not to each other... 

1:29:20 Willow Smith (12) is making a comeback with the band Melodic Chaotic. 

1:29:45 Kevin: "...That's cute." Ralph: "Shut up." 

1:30:30 Willow adopts pretentious British accent in new video, and looks like a guy. 

1:31:30 Cory Feldman has a new song pretending to be Michael Jackson. Sean Aston (Samwise Gamgee) appears briefly. 

1:34:45 Geek News: X-Force movie confirmed. Vin Diesel set to star in Avengers 2? 

1:38:25 Ralph met Vin Diesel on K-ROQ for Pitch Black. 3rd movie Riddick coming out. 

1:39:10 In England, Superman stopped a shoplifter. 

1:41:45 Recut Superman trailer Hobo of Steel. 

1:42:30 Kevin attacked on Twitter for commenting on Avengers/Man of Steel. 

1:43:20 Liam Neeson's cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 130

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision:  YouTube
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on June 28, 2013."
Runtime: 1:40:20
Recorded Fri. 28th June, 2013
Released Mon, 1st July, 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.
4:17 Kyle Hebert intro.

5:00 Kevin fighting with Jen over the sweltering heat in L.A. Ralph disturbed by Kevin's sex-description. Dog-sniffing.

7:00 Ralph plugs The Lone Ranger, and fawns over Armie Hammer. "You wanna join the Armie?" Kev into Channing Tatum. "Records at Denny's." "Sam Goody's."

8:40 Blockbuster on LeBrea/Wiltshire Boulevard gone. Kev smoking Girlscout Cookies.

9:20 Shout-outs: Dan and Greg from Boston take a slight beating. Hockey-chat. Dan had a tumor removed. "It's not a tumor." Shatner shout-out to Tom, going live on Monday. "I got a week off, fuck those guys!"

13:40 Lily/Elizabeth listens whilst "walking the dog." Sean Connery shout-out.

15:00 Marisa denies boyfriend Aaron the rusty wagon wheel, via Pee Wee Herman.

16:35 Anna and Kevin out celebrating. Ralph explains nurses in bed. Scat discussed. Creepy/sexy voice/Bowie collaboration. "Touch your clit."

19:20 Creepy Clown Time: Aaron Budfoldfullfulovski asks for Geoge Takei. "Stop lookin' at me ..."

22:15 Email bag: Rick, Las Vegas asks for Marlon Brandon as Frank N. Furter.

23:30 Star Wars revisited .. 

24:20 Stephen Galloway makes a theme tune for The German's.

25:35 Bale Time: Stephen Crosby asks for Jon Lovitz. "That's the ticket." Someone asks what happened ...

28:45 Tinseltown Stiffs: Gary David Goldberg. Family Ties discussed. 

31:53 Tinseltown Stiff: Alan Myers I Can't Get No (Satisfaction)

33:35 Tinseltown Stiff: Richard Matheson. Remembering Richard Matheson.

35:45 Hollywood Helper: Johnny Depp (50) improv.

38:45 Shit That Should Not Be: Luke Martinelli sends in The Blues Brothers.

41:30 Exquisite Acting: Jenn Schmidt sends in Burt Reynolds in The Name of the King. Kevin was on that set, during the filming of Catch and Release.

47:05 SModCo ads. huluplus.com/babble 

52:50 Kev-In: (remakes) Step Brothers, Smokey and the Bandit, Pretty Kevin.

55:10 HBO Headlines: Amanda Bynes working on her first rap single, Shots, with Waka Flocka Flame. Ralph invites her to the Improv.

59:10 Miley Cyrus tweets to the illiterate.

1:00:50 Justin Bieber banned from the Vegas Indoor Skydiving facility. Jordan Ozuna. Molly the Monkey finally out of quarantine.

1:07:30 Contractor made to sign contract not to make eye contact with JLo, and artists supreme arrival. Jersey Girl blu-ray cut. Bennifer discussed. Kevin reveals that Harvey asked for Jennifer Garner.

1:13:30 Al Pacino eating in a restaurant with Christopher Walken, "Toilet paper!"

1:16:50 What the fuck happened to Nick Nolte? Before. After.

1:18:45 Ozzy and Sharon renewing their wedding vows.

1:19:20 WBC to picket Taylor Swift in Kansas.

1:21:15 Movies That Will Suck: White House Down bombs. Independence Day sequel, sans Will Smith.   Cameron Diaz to play Ms. Hannigan in Tannie. Taken 3. Sony announces Captain Planet, motherfuckers.

1:26:50 Charles Keller's Batmobile. Ralph feigns illness.

1:28:40 Henry Cavill says Justice League not quite yet. Man of Steel on Reddit. Video.

1:31:30 Star Wars to begin filming in London. Weight loss. George Lucas married Melanie Hobson. Van Morrison covers everybody.

1:36:20 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 129

Episode: Link.
YouTube link:  Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 4
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on June 21, 2013."
Runtime: 1:57:23
Recorded Fri. 21st June, 2013
Released Mon, 24th June, 2013

Special thanks to @neilgat for this weeks notes.

0:00 SModCo ads.
6:21 Kyle Hebert intro.
6:54 Third Sold Out Show at the Improv "Four-peat"
7:34 Kev's travel-related Babble-On Story, toe-tapping and weak weed, meeting @anawnnemus in the airport bathroom.
11:10 Kev's trip to "The Walking Dead" set, Gail-Anne Hurd applying bug screen.
13:32 Quote: "Sniper Lawyers"
14:19 World War Z "I haven't heard good things"
16:50 Shout-Outs:
17:47 Gabby, Milena, Ian & Taylor "Vagatarian", "I like Pussy, me Too! High Five" (Dr Frankenfurter).
21:00 Ruth & Beth from that Anaheim Theme Park (Creepy Sexy Voice)(Small World).
23:31 Jason & Julia from Toronto, Canada, Eh! (Via Shayna) (Bane & Schwarzenegger).
25:34 Michael (Happy 31st) & Todd (Bowie Song)
28:37 Galvan Davis from Sydney Australia (ranting Christian Bale vs. Mumbling Harrison Ford) "Who Shot First, Han or Jar-Jar".
30:41 Email Bag:
30:59 Tony Vargas: Al Pacino as Han Solo, also offered Apocalypse Now and Pretty Woman
32:30 Kristen from Australia: EdibleAnus.Com
34:27 Doug Hockster Jr: Audio Enhanced YouTube Version, Kev recruits Doug "Me and Jay will be at his front door dressed in costumes and shit..."
36:42 Mike Caper: Man Of Steel, Bootleg Superman toys Flavorwire.Com Parachutist. Superheroic Man. Sense Of Right Alliance.
40:00 Michael M: Is Cap'n America still a virgin? "I don't have photos of him banging someone"
41:40 Jose Vasquez: The Germans Movie Poster' "Spank The Monkey" Starring Kev, Ralph and Molly the former Bieber Monkey
42:55 Green Lantern Oath: Gary Price of Arizona: "The Germans + Green Lanten Oath = Fucking Awesome, "Jesus!"
45:32 Tinseltown Stiffs: Bernie Sahlins of Second City, Slim Whitman (Slim) and James Gandolfini Tony Soprano.
55:10 SModCo ads. DAVEschool.com HuluPlus.com/babble
58:54 Hollywood Helpers: John Malkovich saves a life on a cigarette break in Toronto, Robert Downey Jr meets Heather and 1 & 1/2 year old Jaxson Denno "This looks like a photo of me and the old lady after fucking"
1:04:08 Shit That Should Not Be: Superman 2 vid via Rob Patton, Ayreshire, Scotland
1:07:10 Exquisite Acting: Terence Stamp in "The Limey" via Peter Brooker "I'm fucking coming"
1:09:00 Kev-In (Movies): (The Garm-In Edition) Matt - "Garmancing the Stone" Nathan Gonzales - "Glugging with Garman, Casablanca" "Bogart looks better than me and he's dead", Pat Evans - "Garman P.I."
1:11:40 HBO Headlines: Chris Jenner has another whore in her stable.
1:12:37 Kim Kardashian Theme: "First Name 'North", Last Name 'West'" "They named her a direction, STOP THE MADNESS"
1:14:20 "You cant put two directions in one name, that's in the bible. The Lord Sayeth thou shalt not name your child after direction if a direction already presenteth itseltheth" Corinthians 17:10
1:16:30 Kev supports the Kardashians via Harley's downloads.
1:18:00 Pop Scrotum Justin Bieber holds up a private plane as hes buying a new monkey from West Palm Beach "Apeschvitz", "Disposable monkey problem", "You blame 'Monkeys-R-Us?'"
1:21:45 Amanda Bynes: Ralph cant keep up, Amanda chasing guy who doesn't understand the rules of "Bat-shit Crazy Amanda-ville" after he took a photo of her "Yakkity Sax", Dr Drew "Your Ugly", Apologises to Drake, Cant marry a German as she's Jewish, Faking all along, It's all an act.
1:26:50 Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham: 2nd Breast Job with photographers present "Triple D whore or Double D whore?".
1:29:55 Miss Utah "The perfect collision of cosmetic perfection and the failure of the brain perfection", "Filibuster of 'Duh"" (Video unavailable).
1:32:20 Wildwood New Jersey, ban on guys letting their pants sag. The Game says it's "racist". He will pay the fines for the first five people to get caught.
1:35:38 Alexander Skaarsgard, Relaxed with nudity "I was 14 the first time I saw my Dad (Stellan Skaarsgard) wearing pants" "I'm not gay but I'd like to fuck Henry Cavill" ~ RG
1:37:30 Movies That Will Suck: Highlander Remake, No Ryan Reynolds "May have dodged a bullet", Poltergeist Remake - "Leave it Alone", "Fuck those people" Sam Raimi to produce.
1:41:50 Geek News: Ralph's not a gamer, However... Batman: Arkham Origins PS3 Costumes "Azrael or Adam West's Batman" "How do you not name her daughter Adam if your last names West?"
1:44:40 Avengers 2 : Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch. Magneto's Children. Fox owns X-Men, Disney Avengers. how can they mention the link. RDJ signs for Avengers 2 & 3 but deal doesn't include Iron Man 4
1:46:44 Amazing Spiderman 3 & 4, 2016/2018. Amazing Spiderman 2, Mary-Jane cut, (Shailene Woodley)
1:47:34 Gene Roddenberry, Majel Barrett and James 'Scotty" Doohan having their ashes reshot into space "Where no man has ever gone before"
1:49:40 Sao Paolo Hospital and Warner Brothers create a Hall of Justice themed Children's Ward.
1:50:30 Minnesota Guy who found "Action Comics Number 1" in a wall and sold it for $175,000 goes back to work and finds "Superman 4" "Shitty Condition, $5000"
1:52:08 Lone Ranger, Armie Hammer interview excerpts "Of course I promptly broke up with her, seven months later."
1:53:30 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 128

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on May 31, 2013." 
Runtime: 1:54:14 
Recorded Fri. 31st May, 2013 
Released Mon, 3rd June, 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.
2:50 Kyle Hebert intro.
3:20 After Earth discussed. "If danger happens, suck 'em off!"
4:20 Final Hollywood Babble-On for Ralph's mustache (The cum-catcher!).
5:15 Kevin asks Ralph what strain he's on; Ralph references The Comedian of The Watchmen.
7:15 Next week is Kevin and Why, Bry? as Ralph is away, and discuss Bryan Johnson's beard, briefly.
7:55 Shout-outs: DJ James offered a job, and The Lovitz mentioned.
9:05 Kevin smoking SkyWalker OG, and mentions Matt Cohen referencing the origins of "OG." "Sea weed." Aqua Man takes a hit.
11:00 Ralph's Batman Dealer, Fred Bode, gets a shout-out. Batman dolls discussed.
12:15 Zach and Juan ("Woo.") gets a job and moves to L.A. Racial slurs discussed. Schwarzenegger doing his best Mexican impression.
14:55 Jeff Bell and Joe from WI, made The German's movie poster.
17:20 Natalie, Kyle, Tim and Jill want a Pee-Wee Herman shout-out. Natalie hates it.
19:15 Daniel Rhineberger and bros. from Denver drive to L.A. Sexy Kev tried to seduce David Bowie (Extended mix).
23:20 Email bag: Mike Dunne from St. Catherine's, ON, Canada sends in the local dog groomer.
25:40 Jennifer Lopez outfit, and a Gossamer comparison. 
27:05 Eric Sly sends in Poor Sheckie.
28:20 Amanda from Akron, OH liked Stroke Tim Curry .. asks for Sweet Transvestite by the McDonalds Fries Girl.
30:10 Creepy Clown Time: Bill from Modesto, CA asks for Dudley Moore.  
33:15 Tinseltown Stiffs: Clarence Burke Jr. O-H-H Child. Kevin references Over The Edge.
37:10 Hollywood Helpers: Tom Hardy meets Kayleigh Duff. Ralph digs a hole. "Make-A-Wish Bone." "I would wreck her." "I hope Tom got some ..."
41:10 Kevin's Dick Van Dyke Christian Bale. 
42:15 SModCo ads. HuluPlus.com/babble DAVEschool.com
48:45 Shit That Should Not Be: Scooby Doo and Batman & Robin.
51:55 Exquisite Acting: Ralph Garman in Sharktopus. (Ralph mentions Will Wheaton live-tweeting Sharktopus). "That's why you didn't have lines in Red State ..."
56:00 Kev-In (Movies): A Clockwork Orange, Pulp Fiction and Top Gun.
58:30 HBO Headlines: Amanda Bynes says she was sexually harassed by cop, and the Police lied and slapped her vagina. "We're not in Buffalo." Attacks Rihanna on twitter. Trampoline.
1:06:55 Kim Kardashian birthing plans leaked.
1:10:05 Kardashian Family Porn Parody. "They'll find a woman to play Bruce." Kiara Mia and partial filmography. "The Ben Affleck of porn."
1:13:20 Farrah Abraham works her ass off. 
1:15:20 Courtney Stodden nude.
1:16:30 Pop Scrotum Justin Bieber racing his Ferrari and is owned by Keshawn Johnson. Another woman said she had his baby. File!
1:20:20 Jaden Smith more responsible with his money after spending in Cartier. Dating a Kardashian as Iron Man.
1:24:05 Arnie sells a series to ShowTime, called Pump. Comedy Week.
1:25:20 Henry Cavill in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Man of Steel TV spots. Man of Steel discussed.
1:28:00 Expendibles 3 casting news: Jackie Chan, Wesley Snipes, Milla Jovavic and Nicolas Cage. "I'm more of an Expendible protector."
1:29:45 Movies That Will Suck: (Kevin met Dan Lewisell who writes a majority of the theme tunes). Human Centipede 3, starring Eric Roberts. Ralph freaks out Kevin. Kevin met the Human Centipede director, Tom Six. Grumpy Cat via No-Shame Productions. Meme's discussed.
1:35:00 Geek News: Iron Man 3 #5 Top grossing film of all time, and adjusted for inflation.
1:37:00 Mark Hamill smoking problem. "Smokes for Luke."
1:39:10 Adam West and Burt Ward on Futurama.
1:40:25 Superheroes Fighting in L.A. Bluntman and Chronic discussed posing for some of that proverbial phat cash. Dad-Batman. "Captain South-American," Vs. "Canadian Batman." "Magnum Vs. Silent Bob."
1:47:50 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 127

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv on May 24, 2013."
Runtime: 1:31:44
Recorded Fri. 24th May, 2013
Released Mon, 27th May 2013

0:00 Lumdberg Glass.
3:04 Kyle Hebert intro.
3:45 Lovitz prod.
4:15 Lovitz at The Improv, complaining about the bathrooms.
5:00 Kevin smoking SkyWalker.
5:20 Kevin gives thanks to Meghan Quinlan, who is leaving Kevin. Kevin explains how to avoid leaving process in the Smith Household. Ralph gives thanks to everyone, Ralph explains his moustache, and that he has been filming A Million Days To Die in the West, in New Mexico.
9:10 Shout-Outs: Kevin lowers the bar. Adam and Matt from Birmingham, UK. Someone steals Kevin's bit. Paul McCartney shout-out for a place to stay.
11:54 David, Greg and Christina with a mad laugh. Celebrating graduation with The Germans. "Pussy ünt chocolate."
14:15 Karen, Kelly and Eric celebrate Mothers Day at the Lovitz. Ralph plugs ProFlowers. Kevin about to cry. Bane shows a mothers love. Huell Howser joins in. "I love seamen."
16:45 Chris and sis at The Improv. Ralph does Bob Hope. Bowie shout-out.
19:05 Email bag: Pepper from Newcastle, OK found a Clerks II bonus disc in the wake of the tornado. Thoughts to OK. Ralph advocates donating to The Red Cross.
20:30 Matthew ponders SMereal.
21:45 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Brad Campbell asks for Charlton Heston. "Soylent Green Lantern's light!"
22:54 Tinseltown Stiffs: Steve Forrest. S.W.A.T.
24:40 Tinseltown Stiff: Alan O'Day. Undercover Angel.
26:45 Tinseltown Stiff: Trevor Bolder. Sideburns.
28:10 Tinseltown Stiff: Ray Manzarek. Light My Fire.
30:15 Hollywood Helpers: (Wrong theme played). Helen Mirren plays The Queen. Kevin asks for forgiveness for Ralph.
34:25 Truck-stop glory hole.
35:00 Shit That Should Not Be: Zachary Hooper sends in Mr. Nanny.
38:10 SModCo ads. huluplus/Babble / Recipes by Ingredients
44:56 Exquisite Acting: Kevin loses control over the drowning dog. Sean Connery First Knight - WHY!
48:55 HBO Headlines: Amanda Bynes housewarming gift. Bong-ing! "Don't you know who I am?!" Mugshot.
54:20 Joe Francis Retarded. Kevin was on a plane with him, and explains the trip.
58:00 Lindsay Lohan is being sued For $5m. Kneepads. Dealer divulges buying habits.
1:01:15 Justin Bieber Milestone award. "Imaimaimaimaimaima artist!"
1:05:00 Bieber's monkey now property of Germany.
1:07:30 Farrah Abraham Backdoor Teen Mom's bikini up for auction.
1:09:45 Celebrity Sick Bay: George Michael Head injury.
1:11:11 Tim Curry had a stroke. Ralph cements his place in Hell.
1:13:00 Jada Pinkett-Smith on Willow's comeback.
1:14:40 Britney Spears has new music for Smurfs II. "FleshLight Smurf." "Sperm Bank Smurf."
1:17:15 Movies That Will Suck: The Toxic Avenger remake with Arnie.
1:19:30 Geek News: Damon Lindelof criticized for making the female in Star Trek strip naked.
1:21:20 Latino Review says Jonathan Rhys Myers will take a big role in the upcoming Star Wars trilogy. Ralph imitates a cholo and Harrison Ford.
1:22:50 Mark Hamill's pants from Star Wars undersold at auction.
1:24:15 Andrew Garfield shoots hoops dressed as Spider-Man with local kids in NY.
1:26:00 Found Action Comics #1 fetches $75000.
1:27:15 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 126

Episode: Link.
Comments: "Recorded live at the Long Beach Laugh Factory on May 4, 2013."
Runtime: 2:05:03
Recorded Sat. 4th May, 2013
Released Mon, 6th May 2013

Episode notes courtesy of @Forgeticus

Note: this is the first episode recorded after the falling out with Jon Lovitz and the first public explanation to why they left the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater.

0:00 Kyle Hebert intro.
0:40 Kevin feels the love all over his face, neck and chest.
1:05 Ralph feels it in his eye.
1:15 Happy to be in a REAL comedy club.
1:20 Ralph's does a Jon Lovitz "I'm a douchebag!"
1:30 Kevin wants to tell the Lovitz story quickly.
1:45 Ralph wanted to record a whole show about it.
2:40 This is a fucked up story. Jon Lovitz "That's the ticket! I'm a cocksucker!"
3:10 HBO started at SModcastle.
4:00 Kevin sucked Jon Lovitz's dick on ABC's of SNL podcast.
4:40 Door split for HBO was 90/10. 90% goes to Ralph/Kev.
6:00 Frank Kelly ran things at the Lovitz and was a 50/50 partner with Jon.
6:15 Jon Lovitz didn't know what a podcast was.
6:50 SModcastle closed because they were going to move into the top floor of Lovitz. Blog entry
7:35 Kevin bought the top floor of the Lovitz for $50,000.
8:30 Jon Lovitz hasn't been around his club much, it's more HBO's home.
9:20 The unraveling of a relationship
9:35 The last time the guys got paid was 5 months ago.
10:15 Quote "Hey Kev, you know we haven't been paid for any of the shows in 3 months?" "And I was lighting a joint with a $100 bill." "And then quickly putting that $100 bill out."
11:00 Kevin was going to move SIR to the 3rd floor of the Lovitz.
11:25 Heidi and Frank built a studio on the 2nd floor.
12:25 Ralph writes Jon a nice but stern email.
12:32 Kevin doesn't file a Staind joke.
12:55 Frank Kelley and Jon Lovitz had a falling out. Allegedly, Frank was forced out.
13:15 So now Jon Lovitz is in charge "And I'm not a business man!"
13:30 Every time they'd ask Jon about getting paid he'd blame Frank. "Frank stole your money!" Allegedly.
14:00 Apparently Jon wanted to bring in a new partner.
14:15 And more importantly we said, "It's not out fucking problem. Pay us."
14:45 Jon Lovitz wrote them checks "out of his own money" but it was $3000 short.
Jon said he'd check the math. "Yeah, he checked the math after I sent him all the documents proving the math"
15:45 "Pay me my fucking money!"
16:20 "Things don't smell kosher in Denmark anymore."
16:30 Ralph's Shakespearean accent impression.
17:40 After the money problems, Ralph and Kevin wanted 100% of the door, or $400 more so they could control the account.
17:50 The Lovitz makes $6000 to $7000 on booze when they do their show.
18:20 Jon said he couldn't afford to pay them extra or the club could close.
18:40 "Things don't smell kosher Denmark, we thought."
18:55 Ralph crafted another nice email. They'd like to open an account to automatically do the 90/10 split and deposit it accordingly.
19:40 Jon wrote an email back, and this is where things got weird.
19:50 Jon withdraws the normal 90/10 split for 50/50 split and takes their normal 8pm time slot away.
20:35 Consistently, HBO is the only show that sells out. So to take the time slot and a 40% cut is "a massive slap in the face with a very little dick"
21:20 Jon's new partner said "Well those guys are lucky to do the show here"
21:35 The guys work on an exit strategy at this point.
21:50 Kevin had an idea they can just do the show on the top floor, since he owns it. "while they're doing other shows down on the stage"
22:05 Now the game is let's just fuck with him as much as we can.
22:45 Jon tells Kevin he doesn't own the top floor. He was renting it for storage
22:55 Quote "Yeah, that's the ticket! You were.. err. renting it.. for storage"
23:30 Jon Lovitz just made up all up in his head. That someone would pay $50,000 to rent a place for storage just for the summer.
24:30 Kevin informed Jon he has a contract and a cancelled check that specifically mentions SmodCo Lounge in the memo.
24:35 Jon stopped sending emails, but told Kevin "You're crazy and cruel"
25:00 Kevin loved Jon. Wrote him into his scripts, had more ideas for ABC's of SNL.
26:00 Getting Jon to schedule time was like pulling teeth.
26:20 Lovitz called Obama an asshole. "He's taking my tax money. That Frank stole!" (Allegedly.)
27:00 If your club isn't doing well don't mess with the 1 night of the week that is.
27:30 "Pay me my fucking money!"
28:25 In 2 weeks HBO's new home will Los Angeles Improv on Melrose.
28:45 Jon's partner did say good luck trying to get that 90/10 deal anywhere else. "It did take us an entire day"
29:30 Kevin "The dude treated us like fucking dicks, so we went on our way."
30:00 Kevin still doesn't know what's going on with the 3rd floor, but Ralph wants a nudist colony.
30:45 Quote: "I would like to swing my giant pendulous balls over the railing while Jon's on stage and just play them like bongos.
31:35 Kevin Smith only has public feuds with 80's icons. Prince, Jon Lovitz, Bruce Willis.

33:30 Start of normal show. Kevin's doing the sound board tonight.
33:35 Shout-outs: Allison and Sam celebrating Allison getting her Masters. Ralph does Huell Howser.
35:50 Chris and Robert. Ralph and Kev sing the Fat Albert theme song. Chris is the Chewbacca to Robert's Han. Robert needs Chris to bang a girl with him so Robert can have a threesome with 2 women.
37:15 Kevin is confused. "You got me so far? It's only three people! Fucking follow me!"
37:30 This is a word problem. If Robert's on a train leaving from New York...
37:45 Ralph puts down his mic to drink.
38:55 Could Ed Wynn convince Chris to turn this girl into a pair of fingercuffs?
39:30 Quote "You could put it in her heiney, or in her hoo-haa, or in the talky part."
40:15 Kevin Wants to be Robert. Meanwhile he's fighting in emails with Jon Lovitz.
40:20 Both Kevin and Ralph have shared a woman with another guy. Audience wants the story.
40:35 "We can't tell it because it actually involves Lovitz as well."
40:55 Missile Ovalay (?) and his girlfriend Marrari. "Are you guys Ferengi or Klingon or something?"
41:40 Kev and Ralph both speak Klingon. Kevin: "Ick tock thu cha BABBLE ON!"
42:30 Kevin's creepy sexy voice.
43:10 Dale and Jill from Perth, Australia. Ralph does Australian Arnold Schwarzeneggar.
45:25 No more Lovitz talk, or drunk lady will yell at them again.
46:00 Chris and Lucy from Manchester, England (England). Kevin and Ralph both sing the song from Hair.
46:25 Manchester makes Ralph think of his friend Davy Jones, "The Manchester Cowboy". He used to literally ride monkeys.
49:05 The Germans give wish Chris and Lucy happy anniversary.
50:15 Email bag. Kevin fucks up the start and stopping of theme. Adam West: "And you're lucky to have parents."
50:50 Cop On Films, from Ireland has a new animation for Al Pachino's More Margaritas.
52:30 Robin from the UK wants to know how Ralph met Adam West. A K-ROQ charity CD where Batman spoils Christmas for kids.
56:00 Silas Mortenson sent in a photo of a DVD: Sean Connery vs The Cock. Ralph does Connery impression.
57:40 Lawrence and Vicky want David Bowie to congratulate them, they're getting married today.
1:00:40 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Keith from New Orleans wants Aaron Neville.
1:02:45 Tinseltown Stiffs: Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman. Article.
1:05:30 Tinseltown Stiff: Deanna Durbin, child star Video
1:09:05 Tinseltown Stiff: Chris Kelly from Kriss Kross 
1:11:55 Kevin asks "Do you unzip your fly to take a wizz?" "No, I just piss in my pants, Kevin"
1:12:30 Kevin just pulls his waistband down a little bit. Ralph has mastered the art of guiding his cock through a zipper.
1:14:40 Kriss Kross toured with Michael Jackson. Ralph does a quick impression.
14:35 Tinseltown Stiff: Kev adds one from last week: George Jones
1:15:25 Hollywood Helper: Al Pacino prevents drunk driving, loans couple his limo 
1:18:00 Kev-In: Iron Man, The Flintstones, Kiss. 
1:20:50 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan
1:21:30 Lindsey Lohan why don't you come to your senses? Ralph: "No shit. This this this.. fucking bitch. It's like she's on a bet." She checked herself out of rehab. She's at Betty Ford Center. 
1:24:00 Charlie Sheen wants to give Amanda Bynes a guest spot to help her.
1:25:40 Amanda Bynes tweets topless photos of herself and has a twitter fight with Jenny Mccarthy. 1, 2, 3.
1:27:50 Amanda calls Jenny McCarthy an old lady. Amanda Bynes dances on the treadmill 
1:30:00 Reese Witherspoon being a total cunt to a cop when her husband was arrested for DUI. Arrest video
1:34:00 Teen Mom Farrah Abraham sold her sex tape for $1 million 
1:37:20 Kevin reccommends working in a convience store
1:39:00 Farrah working on her future endeavors: a stripper pole
1:40:35 Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys is writing an autobiography. 
1:41:05 Ralph wants an audiobook. Does his stroke voice impression of Brian Wilson. Audience bemoans. Turns into Bill Murray in Caddyshack.
1:41:30 Rocky the musical coming to US 2014  The Germans are excited. Ralph does Sylvester Stallion impression singing Rocky.
1:43:00 New Annie musical, working title "Tannie," Jamie Fox to play "Benjamin Stacks."
1:44:30 Pop scrotum Justin Beiber tried to skip customs in turkey. Stops concert because he was pelted by toys. 
1:47:10 Jonah Falcon, man with worlds largest penis, records shitty song "It's too big" 
1:50:15 Geek News: Spiderman steals $6000 from 90 year old man. 
1:52:45 The Knight Warrior gives up fighting crime. Chris (from shout-outs) claims to have met him. Ralph thinks he was the one that beat him up and made him retire.
1:54:40 Chris is the Knight Warrior's Joker. Chris is not a great super villain name.
1:55:55 Quote: "If you're a super hero, at least you should have a plan for punching."
1:57:25 It's May the 5th now. The Toledo Mudhens are uses Chewbacca uniforms this weekend.
1:58:25 How did no-one do Yoda Soda before? Star Wars jokes.
1:59:20 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes. Jimmy Stewart describes the length of it. Kev and Ralph do Jimmy Stewart impressions.

Hollywood Babble-On 125: Secret Origins 2

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Another compilation of the "Greatest Hits" from the history of Babble-On!"
Runtime: 2:15:00
Recorded 2011-2013
Released Mon, 15th Apr. 2013

Hello Garmy,

I thought I would use this place to explain a little of the production process of Hollywood Babble-On 125: Secret Origin 2, and why an 'Issue Zero,' is necessary.

In the past couple of months, I have been working on several SModCo projects, with my good friend and SmodCast Internet Radio Chief Jizzmopper, Declan Quinn, the first of them being Tell 'Em Steve-Dave 143: And on the 7th Day, God Listened to TESD, which is a Zero Issue for fellow SModCo Podcast, Tell 'Em Steve-Dave.

To the uninitiated, the Zero Issue may seem like a mere clip show, but it's uses are many, the most prominent thus; Potential new listeners feel that to sit through 150+ hours of pod to catch up to the present episode is a gargantuan task. The Zero Issue let's said person hear select fragments, brings them up to speed, and hopefully gives them the urge to download the back catalogue and enjoy it.

I had a great time putting TESD 143 together with Declan, using the information provided by the TESD Army. So much so, that I wanted to do another, but for Hollywood Babble-On. Instead of asking what clips people would like, I used my notes from this blog, as all the information was still fresh in my brain (I had caught up to the present point, some three months earlier).

Which brings me to today; Secret Origins Part 2 brings us up to speed, and is a strong episode. Hopefully it brings new listeners to HBO who stick around because they like what they have heard.

Thanks for reading, and Babble-On!

Joseph (Chile).

Hollywood Babble-On 124

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Recorded live on April 13, 2013 at The Laugh Factory in Long Beach, CA."
Runtime: 1:47:00
Recorded Sat, 13th Apr. 2013
Released Mon, 15th Apr. 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.

3:23 Kyle Hebert intro.

4:20 Kevin needs a quick reminder where he is.

4:30 Slutty Ralph.

5:20 Ralph mentions his father. First joke of the night filed. Ralph filled with hate.

6:35 Will Smith's Dancing Monkeys.

6:55 Kevin operating the sounds tonight. (Smoking Venus OG).

7:35 Kevin recounts a story about his daughter and the Paramore signing at Hot Topic. The Perfect Transaction.

9:00 Quote: "Can you come and do something ...?"
9:50 Kevin plugs The Jay and Silent Bob Groovy Movie. Jay gets Harley to the front.
11:55 Shout-outs: Tony, Joanna and Luis from Bakersfield, CA. Kevin references Every Which Way But Loose. Ralph does Clyde the Monkey. Kevin does gorilla. Pee Wee Herman welcome.
15:05 Rudy, German et al are at The Laugh Factory. Christian Bale steps in.
16:33 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Karen, Zac and Nolan ask for Gilbert Gottfried. 
18:10 Mark and Ling from Liverpool, UK. Ralph's impression criticized. John Travolta's plane.
20:55 Tomas (Meth dealer) gives the finger to Ralph. Jennifer Jones gets Creepy Sexy Ralph. Tongue colonoscopy. Kevin recounts the tale of kissing his wife, and his cousins eating cereal - Fraggle Rock cast.
24:45 Adam Davies from Australia gets put in the shit, by Ralph. Charlton Heston home advice.
26:10 Frank Dykeman from Grants Pass, San Diego celebrates his 15th anniversary. "Granny ass." The 25 Year-Old Grandma. The Germans pass commentary.
29:50 Suzanne asks for Bowie to sing Happy Birthday for Mike.
32:10 Dude pisses off Kevin on Twitter. Scorcese/Smith comparison.
33:25 Email bag: Ryan from Buffalo-The-Fuck-On liked HBO121. Ralph and Kevin mention @HBOHelper. Tom Brokaw interviews Harrison Ford.
35:45 Creepy Clown Time: Zac asks for Huell Howser Creepy Clown Time. "Your eyes become pinholes!"
37:40 Brian Roctanic (?) asks for It's A Small World. "Nye .."
39:54 Bale Time: Joel Sutton asks for Bill Cosby.
41:30 Tinseltown Stiffs: Richard Brooker.
43:50 Tinseltown Stiff: Annette Funicello. Mickey Mouse Club Memories. Beach Party.
48:30 Tinseltown Stiff: Jonathan Winters. Elwood P. Suggins. Gilbert Gottfried piece.
51:30 Hollywood Helper: Taylor Swift. Kevin defends. Ralph on the rampage.
54:55 SModCo ads. babble.ting.com
57:14 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan airtight in Coachella. Promoting Scary Movie 5 on Letterman. Kev  on Coachella; Harley there as we speak. Angry Ralph Hendrix.
1:01:40 Lindsay to complete rehab in NY. Wine discount.
1:02:30 Ray J releases "I Hit It First." "I get all the cunts mixed up." Bullshit detector off the scale.
1:05:40 Rick Ross loses Reebok endorsement deal for UOENO. Bullshit detector, once more.
1:07:00 Flavor Flav due in court. "Calendar," "Almost stabbable."
1:08:20 Kev spits some LLCoolJ shit, and recounts meeting him, recently. Accidental Racist. "Which just makes it a big fuckin' pile of shit!" Ralph and Kevin read the lyrics.
1:15:55 Farrah Abraham Teen Mom fucks Ralph right off. Waxes kids eyebrows. Sex-tape to be released. "I don't exist anything about that ..." HH. My Teenage Dream Ended. On My Own. 
1:22:50 Quote: "This is why they won't sell me a gun."
1:23:15 Meltdown. Ralph is my hero. 
1:25:50 Jaime Pressly and Estella Warren fight it out in Bootsy Bellows.
1:27:40 Jenna Jameson beat up her transgender assistant. 
1:29:20 Justin Bieber declares himself King of the Twitterverse. "37?!" 53% of his followers are fake accounts. (17.8m followers).
1:31:40 Judge Judy has been renewed to 2017. Ralph on her income. Vigilanteism.
1:32:45 Movies That Will Suck: New GI Joe movie. Point Break to be remade. "Disappointed!" Ralph on Point Break. Ralph's voice-over voice. Ricky Stanicky.
1:36:45 Geek News: Guy chides Kev. Arrow cast additions. Ralph chides Kevin.
1:38:35 Prop sale news. Star Trek: Into Darkness crashed UK internet. Kevin on Zoe Saldana. Poster complaints.
1:42:40 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 123

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club and Podcast Theater on April 5, 2013."
Runtime: 1:29:48
Recorded Fri, 5th Apr. 2013
Released Sun, 7th Apr. 2013

0:00 SModCo ads.

3:54 Kyle Hebert intro.

4:40 "Friiiday, Friiiday ..."

5:00 Ralph on Pontius Pilate. Kevin smoking OG Church.

6:08 Shout-outs: Kevin pinched a nerve in his back, picking up Mulder. Ralph mentions Bret Favre.

9:55 Christian and Ufa invaded and then they stayed. Mr. Freeze attacks Hogwarts. Kevin as Hermione, and Porky the random tubby Slytherin. Quasimodo pulls. 

13:35 Kevin performs "Ufa, Ufa, more margaritas."

13:50 Lauren from Australia is surprised with a shout-out from her husband, who is left to look after 15 chickens. Angry Christian Bale and the chickens. Needs a good spanking.

18:04 Sam from Oklahoma in LA to visit The Lovitz. Mom bought tickets. Bought a round of drinks.

20:05 Gillian and Lexie with an Adam West shout-out.

21:10 Jonathan and Peggy, have been to 20+ Live Babbles. Bowie shout out.

23.30 Email bag: Adam Azaghouri sends in the Bale Time theme.

24:06 **first appearance** Bale Time theme.

24:32 Bale Time: Frank N. Furter.

25:00 Chris Koulak is single, and Sean Connery tells him to man up. 

26:15 A Dusty Rhodes asks for Huell Howser to explain a Roman Face Mask (Roman Hemlet).

27:30 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Dirwith Kennedy asks for a Lewis Black oath.

29:12 Tinseltown Stiffs: Roger Ebert. Siskel & Ebert: Mallrats.

35:40 Quote: "Two thumbs up ... six feet down."

35:50 Tinseltown Stiff: Jane Henson. Puppetry class. Ralph and Kevin sing Kermit.

38:20 Tinseltown Stiff: Milo O'Shea. The Verdict. 

39:45 Tinseltown Stiff: George Gladir. Sabrina.

41:35 Tinseltown Stiff: Carmine Infantino. Flash. Batman.

42:55 SModCo ads. babble.ting.com

45:30 Hollywood Helper: Heidi Klum saves! Nanny. Tit came out.
47:33 Quote: "What happened to freedom in the press?!"

48:30 Exquisite Acting: Spock crying.

50:30 Shit That Should Not Be: Sixteen Candles.

52:20 Kev-In: (Movie posters) The Podfather. Gooper. The SMobbit.
54:20 HBO Headlines: Jimmy Fallon to replace Jay Leno on The Tonight Show.
57:25 Shain Gandee not eligible to be a Tinseltown Stiff. Ralph plugs Kevin and Bean. Ralph explains "Muddin'." Nelson Muntz at The Lovitz. "Squirrellin'."
1:01:20 Snesley Whipes out of prison.
1:02:10 Glee dude in rehab.
1:03:00 Amanda Bynes "impersonator" in Times Square. Blow Dry Bars explained.
1:07:00 Lindsay Lohan's wrong April Fool's joke. Beach. Leg.
1:08:15 Justin Bieber working his way through Europe. "Kurt Grabbenwanger." Illegal tattooing.
1:12:20 Jeremy Irons on same-sex marriage.
1:13:45 More charges brought against Elmo.
1:15:15 Courtney Stodden refused to have Courtney Stodden. Girls and Corpses.
1:16:40 Huey Lewis and the News Sports' turns 30. Funny or Die.
1:18:05 Movies That Will Suck: Hercules 3D, and another Hercules movie.
1:19:50 Geek News: Tom Hardy and Little Bane.
1:21:15 Replica Batmobile. Kevin on his grandfather. Ralph on young alcoholism.
1:24:00 Vadering.
1:25:00 The Black Hole to be rebooted - Ralph on Kim Kardashian this week.
1:26:30 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 122

Episode: Link.

Comments: "Recorded live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater on Saturday, March 30, 2013."
Runtime: 1:46:35
Recorded Sat, 30th Mar. 2013
Released Sun, 31st Mar. 2013

Tonight's sponsor: The DAVE school

0:00 SModCo ads.

2:42 Kyle Hebert intro.

3:20 Mic problems? 

3:55 Kevin smoking Bubba Kush, this evening. Ralph's Porky Pig impression.

4:30 Kevin pimps Dredd.

5:05 Quote: "I saw it when people were still talking about it ..."

5:47 Nobody yells at Kevin on planes, anymore.

7:37 Wondercon is currently happening in Anaheim, CA. Kevin explains for the audience.

8:15 Quote: "Geek bent."

8:30 Shout outs: Alex writes in for Carolyn from Vancouver, remounting Watering-Hole. Jerry Lewis steps in.

9:15 Quote: "Drawing a smile on my face with a dick."

11:25 Quote: "I just shit myself."

11:35 Matt and Jamie celebrate one year's marriage. Huell Howser.

11:47 Quote: "Bullshit!"

12:40 HBO is the opposite of PBS.

13:15 **first appearance** Stern/Gay Huell Howser.

13:58 Quote: "Eww! That's dirty! I said 'dick,' not 'cock!'"

14:44 Pi from Albequerque, NM is at The Lovitz. Friends ditched him on his birthday. Kevin tries to set up Pi. Al Pacino More Margaritas song.

15:45 Quote: "Who wants a piece of Pi, tonight?"

17:20 Ralph concentrates on his drink. Lucy, Herbert, Maria et al, celebrate nothing. Rosa depressed. Ralph makes light of Rosa's story. Kevin's creepy/sexy voice.

19:20 Quote: "Get some whipped cream on that Pi ..."

20:20 Mewes takes a hit.

21:20 "It's all good at The Lovitz."

21:35 Brian, Kara, Jacob and Danielle from Nebraska enjoy a Pacino shout-out. Ralph and Kevin refuse to take responsibility for a line.

23:30 Caleb et al are a no-show. Angry Bowie shout-out.

25:20 Kevin recalls he was at Cannes, no he's sucking his own boobs on-stage.

25:55 Justin Bieber photo. "Ghost-Bieber, whatd'ya want?!"

26:40 Kevin's mother stepped in for him in school.

27:15 Danny from Mass. sent in X-Men containment camp.

28:10 Pedro from Brazil sends in Ralph in Highway to Heaven. Screencap.

30:55 Kevin recounts seeing Doogie Howser as a young man, at the Quick Stop.

32:00 Kevin has passed the Clerks III script to his wife and Bryan Johnson.

32:50 Joel Sutton from Monroe asks for the Harrison Ford Christian Bale rant.

34:40 Ralph's Green Lantern Oath: Pablo Hernandez from Oxnard asks for Sean Connery.

35:55 Tinseltown Stiffs: Phil Ramone.

37:01 Tinseltown Stiff: Derek Watkins.

38:00 For the Record: Ralph is anti-cancer.

39:05 Cop Out will live on forever.

39:15 Tinseltown Stiff: Don Payne.

39:55 Tinseltown Stiff: Gordon Stoker. Kevin sings. Don't Be Cruel.

42:25 Tinseltown Stiff: Richard Griffiths. Pic.

44:02 SModCo ads. DAVE school

47:20 Shit That Should Not Be: Damien from Melbourne sends in Star Wars, "Carrie!" Disney cease and desist.

49:40 Exquisite Acting: Nic Cage in Kick-Ass - Now swiiiitch ... to Kryptoniiiite!

51:35 Kevin on Cage in the future.

52:40 Kev-In: (Cosplay) Kingpin, Silent Boba, BatRalph and Silent Bobbin.

54:40 Kevin's early sexual career. (50's bush).

57:10 Kevin Smith: LickMaster for the Orient.

58:00 Ralph chastises Kevin. "12 year-olds putting out."

1:00:00 HBO Headlines: Justin Bieber themes

1:00:50 Jim LeScouseSki's theme.

1:01:20 Buzz Compton's theme. Much delight.

1:02:30 **first appearance** Rich Williams' theme. (Editor's note: I fuckin' love that.)

1:03:45 Bieber minutiae: Lambourghini at 8am and spitting (Kevin references The Dark Knight Returns). 

1:06:20 Pet monkey in quarantine.

1:08:00 Ralph on Poland. Airport.

1:09:55 Pissed at photographs. Meme.

1:10:55 Amanda Bynes wants to be left alone. Tweet. Audience interaction and DeGrassi chat.

1:13:00 Invented LOLOL.

1:13:20 Times Square outfit. Walking in to shit.

1:14:30 Lindsay Lohan wanted to go to Coachella, before rehab.

1:15:30 Unliked on the Anger Management set.

1:16:45 Sao Paolo clubbin'.

1:17:45 The Ford Figo ad. Kevin's daughter has been watching The Kardashians, but fails to realize it's actually real.

1:20:40 Kardashian pussy-smelling contest. Angry-Garman. Video.

1:21:45 Quote: "They're smelling each others cunts on this show!" 

1:25:30 Duck Dynasty earning 8.6m viewers a week.

1:27:30 José Martinez sued Disney after he was stuck on It's A Small World.

1:30:52 John Hamm's cock. Distracting. Jon Hamm's Wang. "The ridge."

1:34:10 Mr. T at the Blackhawks game. Rocky discussed.

1:36:55 Geek News: Robert Redford cast in the Captain America The Winter Soldier.

1:39:30 Tomb Raider to be rebooted.

1:40:00 Wonder Woman XXX: A porn parody. Still. Comparison.

1:41:45 Kevin hasn't seen the Clerks porn parody. Ralph has.

1:42:25 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes. Tunnel.