Hollywood Babble-On 169: May 23, 2014

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision: Link.

Description: "Recorded LIVE at The Improv in Hollywood, CA on Friday, May 23, 2014."
Runtime: 1:41:32
Recorded Fri, 23rd May 2014
Released Mon, 26th May 2014
Show notes by @HBOhelper


0:00 Smodco ads, DAVE School; DCentertainment.com - Batman '66 Meets The Green Hornet.
3:10 Kyle Hebert intro.

4:00 Kevin has his Fat Pants on; Tusk is finished. Chicken cheesesteak. Kevin references rude tweeter.
6:55 Shout-outs: Alvin offers wife Emerald on-stage to give a hug. "Tent in the fat-pants."
10:45 Dean Taylor celebrates his birthday on his own. Ralph buys Dean a drink. Kevin offers a hooker. Sly Stallone pitches in.
13:45 Nick Folseca's friend emails in on his behalf. Arnie calls him an asshole.
14:45 Mike Loparda and Farron from Pittsburg, PA spit in Kevin's face. Celebrating being cancer-free for 1 year. Kevin's sexy voice. Brown-isms. "Hot dog in the bun."
18:45 Jacob and Phil explain their secret origins. The German's pitch in.
21:25 Faun throws friend-with-benefit, Billy, some. Al Pacino impressed.
24:09 Dena Hockenberry, Cassandra and Dennis get Kevin to work the pole for Dena's birthday, w/ David Bowie. "Huge!"
26:35 Email bag: Michael sends in movie-mashups.
28:03 Arnie Sings: The Witch Doctor.
30:10 Hunter Clarke sends in a water sprinkler.
31:00 Adam Kirke sends in the HBO Loyalty Card.
31:45 Dynamic Duets: Thomas in Madison, WI sends in Those Were The Days, (the All In The Family theme). Ralph has a drink.
34:20 Tinseltown Stiffs: Jerry ValePretend You Don't See Her.
36:53 Tinseltown stiff: Gordon WillisInterview.
39:25 Hollywood Helpers: #CapForStrat Twitter Update,
41:00 Exquisite Acting: Randy sends in Robert De Niro as Famous Leader.
44:00 Shit That Should Not Be: Frank from Brooklyn, NY, Die Hard 2 (Black actor with white hand). (Video unavailable).
46:44 SModCo ads: LootCrate/Babble.
48:50 Kev-In: Kev-ZillaThe Doors by Matt Rob. Ghost.
53:15 HBO Headlines: Lindsay Lohan in the VIP room with her brother.
55:45 Expendibles 3 waltz at Cannes. Ralph re-enacts. "Beard." Travolta. Gay Ghost.
59:20 Justin Bieber parties shirtless at every party. Offered $1m from Larry Flint for an ad. "Wearing a grape."
1:01:00 **first appearance** Justin Slaughter sends in a Kimye theme. Kim and Kanye getting married on Saturday, The Wedding of the Century! Amber alert. Facial.
1:06:10 Kendall Jenner can't read.
1:07:40 Willow Smith draws the attention of the law.
1:09:00 Burger King ditching their slogan: "Be your way." "BOO!" "Living the Burger King lifestyle." "Eat up, Fatass!"
1:11:40 McDonalds Happy Meal character.
1:12:45 Arsenio Hall in the running to own The LA Clippers.
1:14:00 Ryan Seacrest sings on American Idol.
1:16:15 Black Magic Mike, "Chocolate City" announced. Ralph moist.
1:17:00 Jon Bon Jovi wants to move the Buffalo Bills to Toronto. "Give The Bills a break!" "Fuck you!"
1:19:00 Madonna leeches onto Katy Perry. "Elderly aunt." "Elder abuse." Ralph feels Madonna is embarrassing herself. Ralph promises an S&M photoshoot. "Glom-on."
1:21:00 Memorial Day celebrated. Farrah Abraham celebrates a month as she gives her $0.02. "Those words were strung together ..."
1:23:45 Geek News: Edgar Wright is leaving Ant Man. Kevin will investigate.
1:26:15 Batman 5 Superman: Dawn of Justice. David Goyer (Podcast available in link), called She-Hulk a porn star. Martian Manhunter.
1:32:00 JJ Abrams and Star Wars: Force For ChangeTime Line.
1:35:00 Hugh Jackman wants an X-Men/Avengers crossover. "No."
1:36:30 Working Wolverine claws.
1:37:30 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 168: May 16, 2014

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision: Link.

Description: "Recorded LIVE at The Improv in Brea, CA on Friday, May 16, 2014."
Runtime: 2:05:04
Recorded Fri, 16th May 2014
Released Mon, 19th May 2014
Show notes by @HBOhelper


0:00 Smodco ads, DAVE School.
1:35 Kyle Hebert intro.

2:20 Ralph functioning at 47%, as he went to the premiere of A Million Ways to Die in the West. Ralph goes to the After Party. Ralph dropping names all over; Charleze Theron, Sean Penn et al. "No pictures!" "Smile, prickly!" Hatey/Haiti. "Yeah, that was funny." "... and now I'm here with you."
9:50 Spiccoli references. Liam Neeson's cock waiting tables.
11:10 Shout-outs: Josias Arebalo of The Comic Syndicate has Al Pacino let HBO virgins Leah, Tony and Farrah know what they are in for.
14:45 Gabriel Gonzales causes Ghost references. Wife Liz's birthday. The German's explain Scheiße ..
18:47 Nate The Cyclops gets his shout-out read out, finally. Kevin makes advances toward sister Rachel. "Butterchurning." Pun-off.
22:20 Evan and Caley celebrate Caley's 21st birthday. "We don't need your life story!" "She looks like she's about 12 ..." "Rectal exam practice dummy." "Nnnnrrrrrrghhhhh!" "Changin' tires at the Indy 500!" "How tight is your asshole?!" "David Bowie singing to Caley for her birthday, and she likes to finger-fuck her boyfriend."
28:10 Jack Daniels fairy sent by Sir Nicole.
29:00 Email Bag: Adam Schaff from Australia sends in a Ralph/Justin Bieber mashup.
30:40 Anthony sends in the Justin Bieber camper van. Kevin thanks Ralph for using "Finger-fuck."
32:00 David Riley sends in Arnie to sing Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast.
34:50 Brent Walker sends in Lego Ghostbusters.
36:00 Freelance Guy sends in Kevin's Night of the Lupus (Video unavailable). Bunny Eating Raspberry.
38:00 Dynamic Duets: Noah Schevallier sends in the Three's Company theme. False-start.
41:15 Tinseltown Stiffs: H. R. GigerBrain Salad SurgeryAlien,
45:00 Hollywood Helper:  The Cast of The Avengers. #CapForStrat "Show him the film and then ... *BOOM!*"
50:30 Shit That Should Not Be: Prad Blazic sends in Rain Man.
54:00 SModCo ads: Harry's Quality Shave Products. Promo code: babble
55:55 Exquisite Acting: Wayne Clarke sends in DarkMan. "Take the fucking elephant!"
58:08 Kev-In: Kev-LudoKev to the Future. Smithon and Garmanfunkel.
1:01:42 HBO Headlines: Casey Kasem disappeared and reappeared. "Waterskiing in Washington." 
1:05:25 Justin Bieber is a Batman Villain, at this point. Attempted robbery. "King Friday." Kevin praises and berates Ralph. Property laws discussed. "Death penalty!"
1:12:30 The Plastics - You Want To Be One Of Us.
1:15:50 Solange Knowles attacks Jay Z. "Hello, everyone!" "Whuuuuuuuuuuuut?!"
1:22:00 Willow Smith joins a cult, Osho. Lovitz takes a hit. "'Trees are blue.' Fuck you!"
1:27:30 Kim Kardashian get a wall of flowers.
1:30:20 Lindsay Lohan theme missing, and Kevin performs it. Ralph mocks the leggings that Lindsay allegedly failed to promote.
1:32:45 John Hamm gets his own statue at Madame TussaudsSelfie.
1:35:15 EuroVision Conchita Wurst - Rise Like A Phoenix. "It's his beard!"
1:40:30 Miley Cyrus in LondonDollNeeson.
1:44:20 Cop Out Vs. Sharktopus.
1:44:45 Batfleck sad! Kevin on The Dark Knight Returns. Kevin on the upcoming BatPromotion. Kanye sad60's Batfleck. "I was da bomb in Phantoms, yo!"
1:51:40 Live-action Batman: The Animated Series.
1:52:50 Channing Tatum to play Gambit in the upcoming X-Men movie.
1:53:35 Boca Raton real estate. Flight Deck. Kevin not so much a fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation, but The OG series.
1:55:00 Star Wars to be released on Blu, VOD untinkered. Harrison Ford to return to Blade Runner. "I'm tired and drunk!"
1:57:00 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes.

Hollywood Babble-On 167: May 09, 2014.

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision: Link.

Description: "Recorded LIVE at The Improv in Hollywood, CA on Friday, May 09, 2014."
Runtime: 1:48:59
Recorded Fri, 9th May 2014
Released Mon, 12th May 2014
Show notes by @HBOhelper


0:00 Smodco ads, DAVE School.
2:22 Kyle Hebert intro.

3:20 Ralph offers congratulations to Kevin for the release of the Jay and Silent Bobs Super Groovy Cartoon Movie; Ralph plays Dick Head. Clip played.
6:00 Shout-outs: eye-jizz. "Road-Head." Justin and Suzanne from Tallahassee, FL, "America's cock." In town for a wedding. Jerry Lewis steps in. Kevin watched Labyrinth and recounts Ludo to Ralph, and offers it as an out in case of trouble.
9:20 Justin and Nicole from Chicago celebrate one year's marriage. "Irish carbomb." Justin sends in art; Give that penis a sandwichBowie illustrated. Gay Ghost vs. Penetant Man.
13:15 Jake, Kristin, Yasmine and Suzanne "Hello, Mom!" Jake asks to initiate a 4-way. Kevin rattled. 50's Ralph mocked.
17:40 Joseph and Emily from Nashville, TN "Dumpster-diving in the Garbage Blossom." German touring advice. "Show us your tits!"
20:40 Lindsay and Lee Tomic from Seattle, travel to LA. Ralph mocks name. Bowie shout-out.
23:50 Email bag: Jacob Zeba sends in Manly Babblers,
25:50 Ed Wynne gives Happy Mothers day to Nana Babs from Jess Corben in Sydney, Aus. Irish Carbombs,
29:15 Tiffany sends in Under The Sea by Arnie,
31:00 Lucas Hipkins sends in Lego Jaws. Hooper. Gobblin' Shark.
32:30 David Edwards reenacts It's A Small World.
34:50 Dynamic Duets: Brenda Floslin from Boulder, Colorado asks for Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul.
36:45 SModCo ads. lootcrate.com
38:32 Tinseltown Stiffs: Lee Marshall. "Grrrrrave!"
40:30 Tinseltown Stiff: Efrem Zimbalist, JrEframBatman. More Irish Carbombs.
45:00 Hollywood Helpers: Daniel Bryan invites Connor Michalek to WrestleMania before doors open.
49:00 Exquisite Acting: Lady Cop Show. How to pacify a dog; by Kevin Smith.
53:20 Shit That Should Not Be: Stallone's Over The Top. (Video unavailable). "Wrestling Amy!"
58:40 Kev-In: GothamThe Walking SModThe SModage People.
1:01:35 HBO Headlines: Affleck beat the dealer.
1:05:00 Miley Cyrus resumes Bangerz tour in London. Ass"Gifted performer and artiste." Miley Cyrus Gang.
1:08:45 Power Rangers movie in works. Ralph was a fan. "Piss Games."
1:11:50 Baz Luhrman working on an Elvis Presley biopic.
1:13:00 Flintstones Movie in the works.
1:13:55 Movies That Will Suck: Beverly Hills Cop 4.
1:17:30 Ralph bewildered by Kim "Bonehead" Kardashian. "Whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?!"
1:20:20 Farrah Abraham sets a bad example for MTV.
1:22:00 Jessica Alba never wants her grandparents to see her boobs. "Pass the yams!"
1:24:10 Monica Lewinsky fueds with Beyoncé. Does anyone really give a shit at this point?
1:25:55 Seth Rogen defends this tweet about Justin Bieber. "Cartoonishly evil." Dating a JennerMayweather.
1:31:20 Geek News: Gotham trailer. Other comic titles coming soon.
1:35:00 Cap'n America deemed a pervert.
1:38:00 Kirsten Dunst's teeth take a hit, again. Exhaust Port.
1:39:40 Ralph Blows: 0.09. Warner Home Video provide gifts.
1:43:30 Liam Neeson's Cock jokes. "Shut up!"

Hollywood Babble-On 166: May 2nd, 2014

Episode: Link.
Enhanced Audio Vision: Link.

Description: "Recorded LIVE at The Improv in Hollywood, CA on Friday, May 2nd, 2014."
Runtime: 1:36:52
Recorded Fri, 2nd May 2014
Released Mon, 5th May 2014
Show notes by @Forgeticus


0:00 Smodco ad for DAVE School.
1:38 Kyle Hebert intro.
2:25 Kev gets email from Gene Simmons. He is interested in Kevin's new Christmas horror movie, Anti-Claus. "Are you interested in making $3 million horror movies?"
5:15 Gene would like to Kevin make 3 changes to the movie:
       * Does it have to have Krampus in it?
6:10 * Can Kevin take all the comedy out?
7:02 * Does it have to take place at Christmas?
7:25 So Kevin is maybe working on a different, new horror project with Gene Simmons.
8:25 It's been a year since HBO left the Lovitz.
9:23 Shoutouts: "It's a segment we call- I do the same fucking thing every week, how do you not know the cue by now?"
10:30 Jessica and Albert, world travelers. Kevin wants ice cream. Huell Howser welcomes.
14:32 John and Bob are married. Kev is Chewy. Bob is allowed to sleep with Kevin. Pacino welcomes.
17:40 Jason and Sarah. Jason fired for insubordination. Sexy Kev welcomes. "It wasn't creepy when you told the guy with the mustache you were gonna ride his face and hold onto the handlebars. That wasn't creepy. [Now] you're looking at a woman, and you're all flustered."
20:00 R.J. and Mellisa. The Germans give teaching advice? "Kindergarten is a German word, you know. It means BEAT THE SHIT OUT of children until they LEARN THINGS!"
22:00 Annie and Janet from Battican City. David Bowie welcomes. Fuck you, José.
24:18 Smodco ads.
25:54: Email bag: Troy made a trailer for animated Babble-On movie Rise of the Garmy.
29:00 Lucas sends in Arnold being a dick Photo.
30:25 Andy wants to hear Arnold sing "My Favorite Things".
32:40 Postal Worker Reuben sends in 2 new HBO stamps. Photo. Charlton Heston creepy clown.
33:28 Alex sends in photo of dog welcomed to LA. Photo.
33:53 Dynamic Duets: Joanne wants "You're the One that I want" from Grease.
35:50 Guest Bane. "Welcome to Open Mic Night here at the Improv."
38:55 Tinseltown Stiffs: musician Larry Ramos.
40:40 Tinseltown Stiff: Mad Magazine editior Al Feldstein. Photo.
43:30 Tinseltown Stiff: Actor Bob Hoskins. Clip.
46:13 Tinseltown Stiff: DJ E-Z Rock "It Takes Two"
47:08 Hollywood Helper: Pornhub to plant trees. "Pornhub gives America wood." Photo.
50:06 Shit That Should Not Be: Flash Gordon Earthquake Clip. Photo.
52:55 Exquisite Acting: Harrison Ford in Temple of Doom. "We are Going to Die!"
54:50 Smodco Ads.
56:20 Kev-In: Spiderman, Scarface, Kevin in The Wonder Years clip.
1:00:35 HBO Headlines: Craig Ferguson to leave The Late Late Show. Clip.
1:03:05 George Clooney is getting married.
1:03:26 A racist man in the crowd would like a word
1:04:20 Kevin's had enough, throws the racist prick out. The crowd turns. "There's a gaza strip club down the street. You might like that, Sir."
1:06:50 Clippers owner Donald Sterling just left, and is no longer welcome at Hollywood Babble-On.
1:08:14 Ralph and Kevin think about throwing another audience member out, or everyone even. "You don't bring hate into my comedy club." 
1:09:10 Lindsay Lohan uninsurable in new movie. Trying to raise funds. Article.
1:10:00 Kim Kardashian buying multiple copies of her Vouge cover. Article. Sad Kayne. Kayne to sell 3 vinyl collection of him just talking, giving life advice.
1:13:32 Justin Bieber releases new duet with Poo Bear. Impromptu "It Takes Two". Actavis to stop making codeine syrup.
1:16:24 Jon Hamm calls Justin Bieber a shit head
1:17:15 Fox to do live Grease on TV. 
1:18:10 Fox is developing a TV show about teenage Jesus called "Nazareth". Smallville for Jesus.
1:21:20 Paul Simon and his wife beat each other up. Photo. "Yeah... that's Paul Simon. Hello darkness my old friend."
1:22:28 Movies That Will Suck: Peeps the movie. "To which I would say: not every fucking thing's a movie!"
1:24:27 Geek News: Justice League movie announced. Zack Snyder to direct. Maybe 2018.
1:26:42 Star Wars Episode 7 had a table read. Photo. Harrison Ford talks to J.J. Abrams.
1:31:05 Dr. Who the porn parody "Dr. Whore." Photo.
1:32:28 Liam Neeson's cock jokes.